The Lady Friend and I randomly decided on Tuesday that we were flying to Montreal on Saturday. I wouldn't even really call it a vacation - vacations are planned for. This is like a field trip. We are the equivalent of a 6th grade class learning the ins and outs of a far away and foreign culture.
I've been to Windsor (the strip club capital of the US) and Toronto recently, but this will be my first trip back to Montreal since I was but a wee lad.
I wonder what these strange and exotic people will be like. Will they have funny accents and strange clothes? Will they have ever seen 'the White Man' before? Will their women walk around sans clothes, unaware of Western Civilization's shame in nudity?
Or will it just be a lot of denim and maple syrup?
Either way I am excited, lets just hope they didn't find a way to screw up bacon.
Bon Voyage (see, I'm already learning their language)
Side Note - I need your best Canada jokes to fend off all the politeness and hospitality. These colors don't run!
8 comments:
You must go to L'express on St-Denis in The Plateau. Best breakfast ever. The brioche french toast will knock your socks off.
And no trip to Montreal would be complete without a stop at Schwartz's on St-Laurent. Mmmm...smoked meat.
And don't make fun of Quebecois, they might be Hell's Angels and they'll blow your car up.
Canada is a Joke.
No additional material is needed.
Best if you must...
Canada's got a military? Please! Our Salvation Army could kick their ass! "Throw some towels at that big guy!"
--Robin Williams
(I think)
Here's pretty much all you need to know of what NOT to do:
http://www.midgetmanofsteel.com/2007/11/ow-canada.html
You're welcome.
Did you, by chance, see last weeks How I Met Your Mother? If not, I'd strongly advise you to. Barney makes the best speech in a Canadian coffee shop:
"Attention, Canada. I'm Barney, from America, and I'm here to fix your backward-ass country. Number one, get real money. [shows Canadian dollar bill] Don't know what board game this came from, but it's a [in French accent] joke. Number two, and this is a biggie, quit letting awesome chicks like Robin Scherbatsky get away because you know what, you don't want her, I'm planting my flag in her if you know what I mean - which you probably don't - and getting her the hell out of here. You may now return to being pointless."
You know whats weird about their Canadians? They serve grilled tomato slices with their breakfast.
Terrorists...
A long time ago I went to Detroit/Windsor on a grade school field trip. I think I missed the best part.
Just say Eh a lot. I heard they love that.
Denim and maple syrup...
You guys are making a Canadian porno, aren't you?
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