Thanks to Lilu for creating such a warm, happy feature for blogland - where we post just a liiiitttlle bit Too Much Information...on a Thursday.
The other day I ran out of toilet paper. I scanned the room and did a crab walk* for the first thing I could find - a newspaper. Now, much like when you press Silly Puddy onto a newspaper, I like to think that I walked around the rest of the day with that days stock information imprinted into my ass. Or maybe a Peanuts cartoon. Oh Lucy, when are you going to let Charlie kick that football!
* Hilariously misspelled as "crap walk" the first time I typed it.
What is the weirdest thing you've ever had to use after running out of toilet paper?
12 comments:
cotton balls!
I mean, I feel like the classic is ripping up the cardboard TP tube, crumpling and then smoothing it a few times to make it a bit softer and more flexible, and then using that.
...everyone's done that before, right? I mean, not on a regular basis. But like once or twice?
oyy, i just wrote about this dilemma too. except i can't say i've used newspaper. although one of my friends claims to have used a handful of dollar bills one time before a big meeting because he was THAT desperate, so he basically paid to wipe his own ass.
I used the cat once.
Which is weird, because I didn't even think we had a cat.
How big is your bathroom that you have to Crab walk to get a newspaper? All reading material is conveniently located right beside the my toilet. And also, I always thought crab walking was walking backward on your hands an knees (see pic http://tinyurl.com/yke4s7a) so I thought to myself wow you really are going the extra mile to get your physical fitness in to do that with a hanger.
I'M SUPPOSED TO WIPE?!?!?
Laughing out loud, just what is the 'crab walk'?
Wet tissue! Shower heads! lol
The porno magazine on my ex-boyfriend's brother's bathroom floor. Good times. So fun I considered doing it the next time I was over, even though they had TP.
http://www.theladyslounge.com
You've got to be one unprepared motherfucker to not have toilet paper around, Narm. That's why people keep a fresh box of Kleenex on the back of the toilet as a backup. You should invest. And tell them JESUS sent you!
Like Jez, I'm prepared. Box of wet wipes for me, kleenex leaves clingers.
Family Circus finally got what it deserved.
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