I got nothing.
Sorry guys, I think shaving off my beard made me less creative - like Samson but with a way bigger nose.
So here is what I propose -
I'm going to start a story - and I want you all to continue it in the comments section.
I'll give the first sentence - the first commenter does another sentence, the second commenter continues from there and so on.
This is partially because I am lazy and partially because I want to see where this goes. I hope somewhere sexy. Or scary. Or sexcary. That sounds like a porn name.
Anyways.
There once was a man from Cleveland...
(your turn)
23 comments:
...One day this man, Roberto, got fed up with seeing a homeless man outside of his work everyday so he invited the hobo to his home for supper...
...upon arriving at Roberto's home, the hobo was very unimpressed by Roberto's lack of interior design and decorating...
Turns out the hobo used to be an interior designer before the bottom fell out of that market, along with all the markets in Cleveland.
And then he became a zombie who only liked to feast on the flesh of Sarah Jessica Parker who, in all honesty, pretty much looks like a corpse.
But SJP was tending to her babies so Roberto spared her for the time being and instead turned to the refrigerator where he found...
A cake. A cake made of flour and blood. And the decoration on the cake said...
Happy Anniversary my dear zombie husband. May we be zombies forever!
She then walked over to her husband and..
...pulled the Zombie mask off her face, revealing that she was in fact QUEEN LATIFAH!
She began seducing Roberto, who wasn't sure if he should go along with it or not. Queen Latifah sensed his weirdness and told him she had cast an eternal spell on him...
This spell would force him to watch nothing but Queen Latifah movies for the rest of his life if he did not succumb to her seduction. He reluctanly agreed...
and was pleasantly surprised to find out, Queen Latifah really just wanted to salsa dance with him. Completely naked. So he grabbed her waist and...
discovered she was wearing a fat suit and had been ever since her days on In Living Color. She was in fact an African Goddess. Perfect. In Every way except for . . . . .
The fact she had three boobs, which at first scared him but then he realized these three boobs could be used for.....
...avoiding his fear of even numbers. Now all he had to do was make sure that she had and odd number of...
motorboating....turns out the guy from Cleveland was also a zombie, as his mask peeled off during a really vigorous session to reveal...
himself as being Clay Aiken. Even though he's gay, he's one motorboating son of a bitch. He tried to explain by...
shoving an odd number of dildos in his mouth to preove just how much he could make his mouth than QLT's, which ended up in QLT choking on..
...her own shock, as the reigning mouth dildo champion for the past 12 years, no one has challenged her superiority until now. Her psyche shaken, Queen Latifah...
...acknowledged her defeat by gay Clay the dildo deepthroat champion. However, being a sore loser, she waited until his mouth was full of plastic penises during his encore demonstration, and slapped that fool hard on the back, causing him to choke to death. Then she...
took the spit-out dildos and hid them where only Curious George could find them.
George was in shock, well at the size of these plastic penises. He looked at his own furry member, then reluctantly grabbed a steak knife...
...and wondered (in the recess of his monkeymind) if it really tasted like chicken? Refusing to 'Lorena Bobbit' himself he asked the man in the yellow hat if....
...he knew how the hell they ended up in a house in Cleveland with a zombie named Roberto who was really Clay Aiken, his zombie wife who was really Queen Latifah who was really a three-boobed African goddess, and a hobo who was just sitting bored in the corner. "You see," said the man in the yellow hat, "Roberto Aiken is my..."
love child. You see, when I was in college, I went on Spring Break. I thought it was Tiajuana, but it was actually the third level of hell (often easily confused). There was tequila, a donkey show...and next thing I knew...
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