I'm officially not allowed to go to the grocery ever again.
It disorients me. It confuses me. I get flustered and have no idea what to do.
Look at all that produce. What do I do with that? How do I get these stupid bags open? I sit there and stare at the fruit and pretend I know which one is better. Like my choosing of fruit is some kickball game and you don't want to get picked last. Except I'm a blind kid in a wheelchair.
Then I get in line at the deli counter and they ask me how much provolone I want. I don't know? What is a normal amount of cheese? A pound? Two pounds? A gallon? What is cheese measured in? Is there a cheese metric system?
And just think how confusing it would have been if I were sober!
10 comments:
you could buy a gallon of nacho cheese, but i don't know how happy your lady would be if that's the only cheese you came home with.
The grocery store makes me mad. True story.
I Will have to come back again when my class load lets up - however I am taking your RSS feed so I can read your site offline. Thanks. mbt shoes**
Ha! Must be a man thing, when hubby enters the grocery store, it's as if he's in a foreign land... It's not uncommon for him to spend an hour in there, make a few phone calls for help ("Honey, what aisle is ... on?"), all for just a few items :)
Don't be silly. Cheese is measured in aerosol cans. Everyone knows that!
Just smell everything!
Just pick up some fruit, raise it to your nose and inhale.
Smell it like its a fine wine - and that you are one of those wine wan... ahem, connoisseurs.
I swear - everyone around you thinks that you know what you're doing.
I do it all the time, I don't know why i do it, but, damn! Does it impress the ladies!
cheese metrics are, there is never enough! and normal is boring anyway.
I don't know how to pick good fruits either. I usually go for the biggest one!
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鄔瑪·舒曼
鄔瑪·舒曼，攝於2009年的坎城影展
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