I get married exactly one month from today.
Which is really putting a time-crunch on my life's goal of sleeping with Isla Fisher.
But at least I still have all those dates to look forward to in November.
Wait - I can't do that either?
Man, marriage is going to RUIN my dating life.
6 comments:
One month to do all the things you ever wanted to do, like score a touchdown for the Dolphins, and sing with Gloria Estefan. Yes, only one month, because when you get married, ALL YOUR DREAMS GET CRUSHED.
Uh, sorry.
Yes. It goes in this order:
1) Engagement ruins fun
2) Marriage ruins dating
3) Kids ruin marriage
4) Divorce ruins bank account
But, you know...we're all pulling for you.
yes, your dating life is crushed.
You need to add a "Dating" option to the prenup.
That is the sound of hearts breaking all over the internet.
Tell me you at least get to dress like a zombie for it.
Wait wait wait. I'm going to a wedding on October 30. Surely there can't be two people (four people?) dumb enough to schedule their weddings on Halloween weekend, so I can only assume that you've moved to Texas and are, in fact, my coworker.
Seriously, stop singing shit in falsetto. You're killing me. And it wouldn't hurt you to replace the toilet paper when you've used the last of it.
Post a Comment