I am one lazy bastard.
A lot of nights I stay up late just because I am too lazy to walk all the way upstairs to bed.
I am not afraid to text people who are in other rooms of the house just so I don't have to get up and talk to them.
I pay all my bills late - not because I am too lazy to write the check or go online - but because I am actually too lazy to even open the letter when it comes to my house.
I sleep with the lights on at least once a week because I am too lazy to get up and turn the lights off.
Personal hygiene becomes a battle of endurance as I avoid showering for 2,3...even 4 days.
I hate shaving - why do you think I have a beard?
But even with all that laziness - I still had the energy to donate $10 to Haiti by texting "Haiti" to 90999. It is easier than finding topless pictures of Lindsay Lohan - just text the info above and the $10 is added to your phone bill.
Afterward, I was so proud of myself that I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Well, not really - I was too lazy to actually spread the PB and J on so I just dipped the bread in the containers.
Same difference.
9 comments:
2 days max... 3 and 4 days sans shower is pushing it dude. But good on ya for donating!
the last time i went 4 days w/out a shower I was disgustingly sick from the flu and couldn't move
Nice post, Narm. You DO have a heart! Way to redeem yourself for laughing at that poor kid!
I'm with you on paying bills late becasue I am too lazy to even open them or even go get them out of my mailbox.
texting other family members in the home? *check
im too lazy to go upstairs and pee. i think all multi level dwellnigs should have toilets on each level. it should be the law.
Wait a minute.
Was this a humanitarian post disguised with humor?
You sneaky little bastard with a big heart.
no reason to shower if i'm not leaving the house!
i would like to win the chance to shave your beard.
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