For The Fishes

The Lady Friend and I did what any self-respecting young couple does when they get to the point that their Friday nights are normally spent on the couch in the midst of a Friends marathon - we got an aquarium.

We're so lonely.

Now that the aquarium is up and running, my favorite thing to do is lay on the couch and pretend like I am in deep thought looking at the aquarium...until I fall asleep and then get a free nap out of it. It is great. Free naps are like a get out of jail card. When someone is in the middle of a nap, the entire world stops so as not to wake them. I have no idea why naps have some stranglehold on society but they are great. Waking someone up from a nap is practically illegal.

Now, our fish have become territorial. There is a black and blue one that owns one rock - and if any of the other fish get close to it, he bites the shit out of them. Kind of like me if you try to touch the remote during Glee. I mean...umm...I like chainsaws and red meat.

So as I am laying on the couch watching the fish and trying to get a free ride on the Nap Train, I notice that the black and blue fish swims away from his little home and takes a huge poop - then swims right back to his home. Obviously, I start screaming at the Lady Friend about this.

Her response?

"That sounds like something you would do."

Wait.

What?

I just observed a fish swim away from his home to poop - and that event reminded my girlfriend of me.

How am I supposed to take that? Is it a compliment? Should I be flattered that my girlfriend doesn't think I am the type of guy to poop all over the places that I call home?

Or is it an insult? Like I am the guy that just poops in random places? When she sees a dog pop a squat in the yard she is like, "Oh, that is SO Narm."

Either way, I got a free nap out of it.