WOULD YA WEDNESDAY ON MONDAY - ROMCOM EDITION
Where every story is the same - He's a ______, she's a _______ but somehow they will fall in love and make a sex scene about as exciting as an episode of The View!
Seriously - even boobs can't save these movies anymore. How is it still a surprise?
NO WAY! Even though he's a down and out car salesman with a peg leg and she was a dirty hooker who switched bodies with the Queen of England they still found love? Well slap my ass and pass the tissues how can I miss this movie?
He's a pirate with a sweet tooth and she's a farm animal? How will they make THIS work?
Speaking of farm animals lets introduce our first contestant.
Renee Zellweger has absolutely no redeeming qualities. She looks like she is stuck in an eternal "sucking on a lemon" pose. I heard Keystone Light wanted to use her for their "Bitter Beer Face" campaign. But she scared children. And we all know children are the #1 consumers of Keystone Light. It's a hard knock life, bitch.
I would feel bad for Hugh Grant that he always has to be cast in movies along side her if it weren't for the fact that he was busted with a transvestite. For a dude that is into transvestites, Renee Zellweger has to be a supermodel. A supermodel sucking on a lemon.
Our other contestant is standing, somewhere, in the rain. He probably has a pained look on his face and is listening to a dramatic song (boom box and trench coat optional). Even for all his flaws I can't hate John Cusack. He is one of those bastards that I have no business defending but still find myself saying things like, "C'mon he wasn't bad in Must Love Dogs..." Bastard.
Anyways for those of you new to the game here are the rules - I post two pictures of celebrities and you tell me if your crotch would beat the odds and fall in love with their crotch. Then your girlfriend cries and you have to pretend like you didn't like it when in fact you couldn't wait for them to finally kiss because GAWD! how could they not just realize they were meant for each other!
I've said too much.
Here are your choices -
Renee Zellweger
John Cusack
27 comments:
In every movie I've seen, John is WAY too sappy and broken from love...I'll pass.
Holy shit, Narm.
Congratulations.
I wouldn't touch Renee Zellweger with Jim Carey's dick. However, given the fact that he's now dating Jenny McCarthy, I'd at least have to hold it or smell it or something.
Renee Zellwegger looks like she's constantly eating lemons.
I admit it. I love John Cusack. I love him so much. I would have heartbroken, holding a boombox in the air, thoughtful children with him any day. Cusack, give me a call. We can make top five lists together.
John all the way. Renee? NEVER.
Cusack anywhere, any way, any day.
John Cusak, you can cry into my shoulder after orgasm any time.
I'm into it.
I'm with Moog. You actually found someone I wouldn't fuck. Well, okay. Maybe after a twelve pack.
I bet the girls are going to be all over lloyd dobler up there.
Me, I wouldnt taste zellwgger either.
but I did love those bitter beer face commercials.
JOHN CUSACK!!!
**throws panties**
i'll take his emo love sick self any day of the week. and normally girly men repulse me but i think it's his cynical, self deprecating wit and humor that make me swoon.
renee? no thanks. ew.
Um YES TO JOHN CUSACK! Love him!!
Ick to Renee though. Never.
John Cusack - absolutely! He's in my Top 10.
I feel in love with stalker Lloyd as a kid and will never turn my back on him!
How does Renee Zellweger ever get cast as the romantic lead in ANYTHING?
no and yes
How can you NOT want to do Lane Meyer Better Off Dead? Now Ricky from that movie....not so much. *shivers*
Renee? No. Not even if [insert whatever you want].
Ok, maybe. But dude...
Renee would not be so horrible if she actually opened her eyes and was not so butt ugly.
John Cusack is not the best looking but I always like his movies so yes I would do him but only after I consumed mass amounts of booze.
John always plays a bitter, cynical dude. I swoon for bitter, cynical dudes.
John Cusack in a red hot minute.
Lol. I just accidentally wrote "John Cusuck."
My subconscious speaking. (Suck as in my titties, not suck as in lame.)
I would do John this way, that way and every way in between.
Renee - not while I'm alive. Ew...
Eh, I don't know about John Cusak... I might, might not. It would depend on how good of a flirt he is.
I wouldn't sex either of them. Well actually I would do a lot of things for money. I'm in need of some money.
Ok, both, lights out, mouths duct taped...WOW I've gone KINKY lol
Oooo the writeing above my comment is sooo pretty.
UM Renee because she was with Kenny I LOVE Kenny, I would hang all day on a boat with him in Mexico.
No to Cusack No es Bueno.
sober: no and no
drunk: no and yes
Desert Rat is so easily amused :)
I can't hate on Renee solely because I have a soft spot for Bridget Jones Diary.
As for John -- SWEAT him, and High Fidelity is one of my all time fave movies. Not surprisingly, that must explain why I have a thing for the selfish Peter-Pan type... who has great taste in music.
John Cusack. High Fidelity and Gross Pointe Blank. Enough Said.
John Cusack, yes please!
My girl bits just went a bit funny.
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