I have set a world record.
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaadies.
Every morning I sit at my desk and think to myself, "DAMN how much longer until I get to eat lunch." Then I get up and look at my packed lunch to see if there is any way I can just get a nibble - like a lion picking off a baby wildebeest as an appetizer.
This used to happen around 11.
Then 10:45
It continued to move up until I was famished at 10:15.
But now?
It is 9:22 and I am starving. That cold meat sub sitting on my book shelf is about to be chewed into submission before taking a pummeling from my stomach. I won't even tell you where it goes from there (poop).
I am fairly certain I am a fat kid trapped in a skinny-kids body. Which can't be very comfortable for the fat kid. I imagine it feels a lot like wearing whitey-tighties - you need a shoe horn to get everything crammed in there.
So now I am left to scour the office for leftover niblets of breakfasts' past.
Maybe I can scrap the wrapper of a muffin.
Or steal the last few bites of an apple core.
Say, are you going to eat the rest of that wildebeest?
12 comments:
Haha I used to do that too. There would be days where I would eat whatever "breakfast" I'd packed, realize that a NutriGrain bar can't fill up anyone over the age of 4 and then run downstairs for a bagel. All before 9:30. I applaud you for making it as long as you did.
Put some bran buds in your yogurt, hoping you are not lactose intolerant. The bran buds will inflate in your stomach making you feel like your full until you go to the bathroom and have a poop explosion, then its lunch time. TAAADAAAAA!
this is the story of my life. Oh, I'll have ONE cracker. No wait, I'll have the whole pack. Rebecca won't mind if I eat her soup, right?
Put your food in the fridge or someplace you can't see it. Cause then if you can't see it then it won't call out your name.
Problem solved.
That's why I don't go to work until 11:45.
Lunch?
What's that?
signed
A Haitian Orphan
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm why don't you, oh, i don't know, EAT BREAKFAST?
As a firm believer that cheese solves all problems, I give you this...
STRING CHEESE.
That sounds like me, Narm. :D
What, no snack machines where you work? My snack machine-refiller guy gives me a bottle of whiskey for Christmas each year because of my snack machine utilization.
next blog // hallo! it's 12 and for the last hour im being tortured from a invisible common sense that says that i cannot eat before 13:00!!
Scrounge from others. . . . .it'll save your lunch.
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