But today we're not talking about short frames of time, short attention spans or even Martin Short.
We're talking about short people.
So drop your morals and reach for the sky - or the kitchen counter, midget.
That's right it is time for Would Ya Wednesday - the game where size doesn't matter, except for on my arms. Look at these things - it looks like someone tied a giant ham to each one of my arms.
Our first contestant is Tom Cruise. I'm scared to make any jokes because scientologists have black magic on their side. And by black magic I mean lots of money. Tommy went from 80's heart throb to 90's mega star to creepy guy on the street corner with a sign that says, "The End is Near". OH! He meant his CAREER. Now I get it.
Our female contestant is Danielle Fishel - aka - Topenga from Boy Meets World. What a hard name to scream out during genital wrestling - "OH TOPENGA!" It sounds like you are screaming Jenga! Like in the middle of it she is going to fall down and everyone is going to laugh and scream "Topenga!" Anyways she has a new show called The Dish which is just like The Soup but with more "Oh my gawd". I was...um...forced to watch it...once...hey look over there - is that a dinosaur? *runs away*
If you are new to WyW here are the rules - I put up two celebrities and you tell me if you would give them the long and short of it or if it is too much of a reach.
Tom Cruise
Danielle Fishel
16 comments:
I take it the title today is in reference to my comment yesterday about your girl banging European guys.
I'm sorry.
I meant SHORT European guys.
So there.
Now...
Danielle Fishel? Holy shit, man.
I did her just now.
My monitor is a total mess.
Tommy boy back in his Top Gun days, hell to the yes. Tommy boy now, um, yes. I would probably need a bottle of vino in me first though.
Oh Topanga...
the things I would do to that girl.
I would do them both. No alcohol needed.
She's a little weird looking, but I'd hit it.
Hmm.. I wonder how many women have said that about me?
No, no Tom Cruise. Well, maybe if it was the ollllld Tom Cruise. From his Top Gun days.
But Danielle Fishel? I'd go for her. And you know me, I don't think I've said I'd go for ANY of your female choices before.
This is tough, because Danielle has that hippie voodoo (no I did NOT forget about those early years, missy!) and Tom Cruise has the Scientology voodoo. But he also has John Travolta, whose neck has gotten so fat he could probably smother me with it.
So yeah. Topanga! *falls down*
Tom would probably make you join scientology before getting to do him. No thanks.
Ok first off, Tom Cruise? Really? Ick. I mean, he was okay in Top Gun, but now he's just plain crazy. I don't want Scientology talk in bed.
Second, regarding the Hold Stead, you'll be proud to know that my previous blog post was INSPIRED by that song by The Hold Steady. That line/reference is just great. I expect a Hold Stead competition - STAT.
Tom from his Top Gun days, totally. I'd have to say no to the current cracked out Tom though. Thats a little too much crazy to handle for one night.
I'm 5'8 and I still remember the day I realized I wasn't 6'. A sad day indeed.
I'd do Danielle quick and in a hurry.
Geeez I guess I'd do Tom Cruise circa nineties pre-craziness.
Danielle Fishel and I are the exact same height. So, I think you just inadvertently called me a midget and therefore I hate you.
I choose Danielle. Shorties gotta stick together. Also, she was on Boy Meets World and that was a key part f my youth.
He's a little too weird for me these days.
But I'd totally get with her.
Danielle Fishel = hot... umm, okay, umm, i gotta go now.
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