Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Like A Horse and Carriage

Marriage sucks*.

Seriously.  It's the worst.

Imagine all of your annoying social obligations - now double them.  Take all of your favorite TV shows and your hobbies and cut them in half.

Want to go out to eat?  Divide the number of restaurants you like in half and the multiply the amount of time it takes to pick one by five.  Somehow girls can hang out for a few months and sync their periods, but a couple can be married for 20 years and their taste buds can't match up on Mexican or Chinese food.

Which is why I get so confused when I hear about single people that are just 'dying to get married.'  No, you want to be in love - and if it makes sense to file a joint tax return, maybe you should get married after that. 

Marriage should be a by-product of being in love.  Wanting to be married is like wanting to wipe your ass with $20 bills.  I don't WANT to wipe my ass with $20's, I want to be rich enough that I can. 

And if that's not possible, I just want some damn Chinese food tonight.

* Not MY marriage. Just the idea of marriage in general. 


Marie said...

YES. And THANK YOU. You've basically summed it up perfectly.

Thankfully my marriage doesn't suck either, but yeah it's no walk in the park, unicorns jumping over rainbows and pixie dust.

I may just have to quote you on wanting to be married = wiping one's ass with $20 bills.

kerry_tannerxo said...

Really do like this post and not a criticism at all - but isn't it a little cynical? What happened to Romance in the 21st century? Does it still exist? I'm not talking rose petals and picnic's in the park, I'm more of a know I want two sugars in my tea not one, buy me bourbons not plain digestives, kinda gal!