Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Almost Famous

So last week I mentioned I was part of Cleveland Magazine's Blogger Bracket and asked all of you, dear Readers, to vote for me.

Well I lost.

And I can't help but think this has to be hard on you.

You see, I'm awesome.  That is pretty well established.  My feats of awesometude are well documented, my reputation for cool set in stone.

I've got nothing to worry about.

But you, dear Reader, you have failed on the largest of stages.

I'm not mad.  I want you to know that.

I'm just disappointed.

But I also understand this is harder on you than it is for me.  It isn't easy to put SO MUCH hope and dreams behind one thing and then have it yanked out from under you like so many amateur magicians' tablecloths.

Yes, you must be taking this pretty hard.  And let me tell you something - Big Narm is here to be your shoulder to cry on.  I understand what you're going through.  How it feels.  Let's talk it out.

From one loser to another.  

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

No Shame in Fame

This is a White Collar Redneck exclusive:

Celebrities poop.

It's true.

They stub their toes.

They get deodorant on their shirt.

You know when you pass someone in the hall and they say, "Hey, what's up?" and you accidentally answer, "Good, how are you?"  Celebrities do that, too.

Because they're human.  And they're idiots, just like the rest of us.

Remember when Jenny McCarthy was on Singled Out, wearing low-cut shirts and picking her nose?  That was, in fact, not medical school.  She is not qualified to tell you if you should give your kid a vaccine.

Kim Kardashian is literally only famous for making a sex tape.  Now she endorses products.  People think to themselves, "I wish I could be just like her!" As if she has reached some level that is above that of someone with an iPhone and a Youtube account.  She had the exact same path to success as Keyboard Cat.

Why does this bother me so much?

BECAUSE I WANT IN!  Hook a brother up - I've been cranking out fart jokes for over four years yet Kate Gosselin gets to be famous.  

So here is my shameless plug - please take a moment to go here and vote for White Collar Redneck in Cleveland Magazine's Blogger Bracket.  The bracket continues every Monday so if you could throw a vote out for myself and my good friends over at the Cleveland Movie Blog, I'll throw in another fart joke at no cost.

Also, I've been cheating on you with some sweet NBA ass over at I GO HARD NOW.  Click here to check us out and here specifically for my NBA themed fart jokes..