Thursday, April 26, 2012

Can't Beat It

My wife and I are currently filming 'The Sixth Sense 2' in my household.  And, like most sequels, ours includes lots of guys getting hit in the crotch.

And by 'guys', I mean 'me'.

My wife doesn't have that 'sixth sense' that lets you know when someone is near you.  That or she just flails her limbs more than the average person.

So I am in constant danger of a knee to the crotch or an elbow to the face.  She headbutts me on a weekly basis.  HEADBUTTS!  Our household is like a looped episode of America's Funniest Home Videos

She tried to convince me that it is my fault for having a giant nose.  Her explanation was that my giant shnoz occupies such a large percentage of the available real estate in any given room, it is somewhat remarkable she is able to avoid punching me directly in the face as often as she does. 

But I don't appreciate her attempts at sarcasm.

Because domestic abuse is not a joking matter.

Unless it is guys getting hit in the crotch.

That's always funny.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012



I...I meant to call.  Or text.  Or write.

God, how I meant to write.

Unfortunately, I got a case of Jenny from the Writer's Block and it's crushing the organ that makes my imagination work.  If it makes you feel any better, instead of blogging, I've been staring at this little flashing cursor waiting for my fingers to make some magic.  But, nothing.  I've been unable to finger my blog.

Writer's block is a funny thing.  I've had plenty of ideas for posts - but then nothing happens.  It's like coming up with the first half of a really great analogy, but then...stuff?

What have all of you been doing to fill the void left in your lives as The 'Neck has been on hiatus?  Did you drink too much whiskey and get teary-eyed watching Friday Night Lights?  No.  Er.  Me either, then.

No, I've more or less been doing what I always do - balancing a steady diet of devastating good looks and rock-solid punctuality.

Maybe that is my problem.  Maybe my punctuality has been holding me back.  They say good things come to those that wait.  Maybe I need to just make people wait on me for once - then something good will happen.

Then again, I made you wait four weeks for this blog post.

And this is all you have to show for it.

So maybe I'll go back to being on time - instead of wasting yours.

The 'Neck is back.  And ready to be Read.