Runny noses are kind of bullshit.
The entire point of snot is to prevent the bad stuff from
going up my nose – so why does my body turn into a snot factory when I’m
already sick? Is it guilt? “NAH, MAN – I’VE BEEN MAKING PLENTY OF
SNOT. LOOK AT ALL THIS STUFF. I GOT SNOT COMING OUT OF MY…WELL, I’VE GOT A
LOT OF IT. YOU MUST HAVE GOTTEN SICK
SOME OTHER WAY. BLAME MOUTH. YOU SEE THE STUFF HE PUTS IN HIMSELF?”
For how complicated the human body is constructed, there
sure are a lot of design flaws. Why does
your body get weaker or swell or get a fever to tell you something is
wrong? “Hey dude – some shit is screwed
up in here so I’ve made you exponentially weaker to help you fix it.” Your body might as well start hitting you
with your own hands and then scream, “STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!”
Sometimes I feel like my body and my brain are
fighting. My brain is pissed my body is
sick and trying to figure out who to blame.
My nose invites some slutty virus up there and catches the head cold
version of the clap and is trying to cover his tracks by throwing snot around
like a parade.
In the end I know my nose is doing something stupid whenever
I get sick and it starts running, I just can’t catch it.
