Monday, August 9, 2010

Are You Ready For Some Football?

I now have Direct TV's NFL Sunday Ticket, which means I am better than you.

I get every single NFL game every weekend. I may turn my chimney into a keggerator and my foyer into a urinal - because I will never leave my living room again.

Now, instead of having to go to the bar to see my beloved Miami Dolphins (yes, they suck and their colors suck and that city sucks, I know) I can just watch from the comfort of my living room.

No more flirting with bartenders hoping to get free drinks; now I can save all my winks and cleavage for the Lady Friend in hopes she will keep my beer full.

No more old dirty guy trying to talk to me about how much the Dolphins suck. I am a Dolphins FAN - you think I don't realize this? I'm dumb, not blind.

No more young fratty drunk guy quoting Jersey Shore and telling me how "this is the Browns' year, man!" Yeah, sure it is, you do remember this is Cleveland, right? It is actually in the Constitution that we aren't allowed to win sports championships. Thomas Jefferson added it just to be a prick.

Yes, it seems to all be falling into place. I can watch any game I want.

Unless, of course, the Lady Friend is watching the Browns.

Doesn't she know their colors suck?

9 comments:

Laura said...

NFL Ticket is worth every penny. I love being able to pause the game and not miss a thing. Oh the joys of DVR.

I get loving a team that sucks I'm an Astros fan. We suck often.

Moooooog35 said...

We can still harass you for being a Dolphins fan on here, though, right?

You can't take that away from us, Narm.

You just can't.

David Desenberg said...

Browns vs. Dolphins this year in December. Road trip?

Ed said...

Dolphins?

This is because of Lebron, isn't it?

ouch

Too soon?

Dawn said...

I iz jealous. But I can totally symapthize with loving a team that sucks harder than a truckstop hooker. After all, I had Colts tickets during the Jeff George years. I'm still in therapy to deal with the shame. FYI, lesson learned on vacation: Do not wear a Colts shirt when visiting Baltimore. Apparently they are still quite bitter.

Jez said...

Oh, hell yes they still hate the Colts in Bal'more.

I don't think you should feel bad about the Dolphins. I think they'll do fine this season. Brady's gone soft, moved out to California. You think his mind is going to be 100% in the games? Meh.

KT said...

I'm sorry that you are a Dolphins fan.

We are going to have Sunday Ticket this year and I am so excited to be able to watch ALL of the Eagles games!

Sarah said...

I can sympathize with loving a sucky team (I am forever a Chiefs and Royals fan!)...but I do love our colors!!

ClevelandPoet said...

lucky ducky.

but at least I found a place I can watch the phins games online.