Monday, August 2, 2010

Baby, Baby, Baby

I want to know who invented baby talk. Now I want them to drive off a cliff to the tune of hilarious circus music.

I don't care what anyone says, talking to a baby in a normal voice and then talking to them in a baby talk voice does not change the reaction of the baby. The baby isn't crying because you are speaking in your everyday voice and suddenly you go to baby talk and the thing is potty trained and reading at a 3rd grade level.

Parents go through so much trouble to make sure their kids don't watch too much television so they don't grow up to be an idiot - then talk to them like they're drunk on tequila and rainbows.

If my baby's first words were, "I jus wuv my lil pumpkin - yes I do! Who's a good baby?" I would be forced to give it up for adoption - even knowing the odds are 2:1 it ends up in Madonna's hands.

Why? Because there is still a decent chance it is adopted by Angelina Jolie. That would have to make me Father of the Year.

Talk to me, baby.

5 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

I would like to end up in Angelina Jolie's hands.

Yes I wud! I wud I wud I wud!

Allison M. said...

oh the baby talk.

gross. me. out

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

the worst is when people talk baby talk to adults. makes me cringe.

daisee579 said...

I love your logic!

Have you heard about people who baby talk other adults as a fetish in the bedroom? GROSSSSSSSSS

Pulp said...

Clearly, you don't spend much time around babies. I have a seven month old. Trust me, she loves that shit.