Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sales Pitch

Girls, you don't realize how easy you have it.

You see, men are an ugly species. We've got nothing going for us. We don't have any sexy curves or soft features - and most of us are covered in fur. We are one Rogaine bath away from being Sasquatch.

Think about the last time you saw a guy naked in a movie - it was funny, right? Think about that. Our naked form is used solely for the sake of comedy. There's a boost for the ol' confidence.

Now that you are giggling about our naked sasquatchian form, imagine how hard it is to walk up to a girl at a bar and flirt with her.

"Hey...there. I saw you from across the bar and thought you were super attractive so I thought I would come over and...hope you were drunk enough to talk to me."

Being a guy is like being a salesman for a product that you know sucks.

That is why we have to rely on pick-up lines and alcohol to even have a shot at picking up a girl.

I hear attractive girls complain about the fact they never have guys approach them at a bar. Well, if you were a guy, would you approach you? Imagine approaching a complete stranger in a crowded, loud bar - now try not to sound creepy. It is nearly impossible.

Anytime you have to stop yourself and think, "Wait, does that sound like something a rapist would say?" you know you are set-up to fail.

And fail we does.

But we keep trying, keep working those angles, keep trying to sweeten that deal.

But mostly, we rely on the booze.

6 comments:

heidikins said...

Haha! This is awesome. :)

xox

Moooooog35 said...

This is why I spend so much time working on my sexy curves and soft features.

I've said too much.

Narm said...

No but seriously, Mooooog - you have the butt cheeks of a 3 yr old.

flask said...

oh, sweetie.

you boys already have sexy curves. they're just not the same sexy curves you look for in us.

trust me.

Rahul said...

Men are disgusting. Yet we won't date unattracitve women.

We all win.

Men. Men. Men. Men. Men.

Lacey said...

i happen to LOVE hairy, men. and my main man is quite curvy, lol. but you're right, for the most part you guys look fairly rediculous naked. unless you're cast on 'spartacus'... then you're just eyecandy ;)