One of my nephews turned four this week, and it occurred to me that he is, by far, the coolest person I know.
The kid is amazing. Everything he says is genius. You can't stump him. When you think you are picking on him, he puts your thing down, flips it and reverses it.
I called him using Facetime on my iPad. Here is a sample of our conversation:
Me: Hey buddy, are you having a good birthday?
Nephew, arms raised screaming at the skies: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Do you see that? Do you see the way he dominated that question? He crushed it. That question should be embarrassed for even being asked because he made it his bitch.
Can you imagine having that kind of passion in everyday life? When a coworker says, "Hot out there, huh?" imagine raising your hands in the air and screaming "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!"
You would instantly be the most popular guy at the office. You'd have to fight off women with a stapler.
But my nephew wasn't done there. My wife (Lady Narm*) tried to screw with him and asked him when he was going to grow a beard like his uncle.
What did he do?
He sprinted across the room, got his face inches away from the screen and yelled "I ALREADY DID!!!!!!" and the sprinted away from the screen and started doing some intense dance/crunking.
Boom, roasted. How do you respond to that? He sprinted towards us to scream a lie in our face and then danced in our defeat. We went from picking on him to needing therapy for the severe ass whooping we just received.
This kid's entire life is like a mix between the speech in Braveheart and a Wiggles concert.
Thoroughly defeated and embarrassed, it was time to end the call. We wished him a happy brithday and told him we had to go. His response?
You win again, kid.
* Since the Lady Friend became my wife, I've been trying to find a new name. What are your thoughts on Lady Narm?