Continuing our (my?) list of 30 things I need to do / have before I turn 30 on June 30th today and combining the next two as both are related. I'm efficient, people!
Thing I should have: At least one friend who gives honest fashion advice. / A tailored suit.
I have a wife that does this. Now where on the list does it say, "at least one friend who can make you feel better after your wife trashes your fashion sense."
I also have a tailored suit from our wedding - a suit I purchased 2 months before the wedding that I somehow got too fat to wear a week before the Big Day. I spent the last week before our wedding having the suit let out and walking on a treadmill. A TREADMILL! Marriage is tough, you guys.
Thing I should do: Score the winner. / Invent a cocktail.
I think we can officially agree these lists are less an honest critique of milestones a man should reach before he turns 30, and more a menu of things women look for in their metro-sexually dressed, yet rugged-acting, yet romantic/sweet dream guy. That being the case - this entire exercise feels like a waste since I already fit all of the criteria, but I'll indulge.
So have I scored the winner or invented a cocktail?
I played a lot of sports as a kid - I'm sure at some point I was responsible for a win. Does it count if I was also responsible for all of the losses? Do they cancel each other out? Or does a 'winner' count if it's a really great comeback to some troll on an online sports message board? No? What if there was a great .gif, too?
As for a cocktail - it's pretty hard to invent a cocktail that is just straight whiskey. Maybe I'll throw a splash of water in it and call it the "Shut Up and Leave Me To My Whiskey." It should be ordered neat.
It'll be a real winner.