Every year I go through a month or so where I take stock of my life and realize how big of an idiot I am. I know, I know, "But Nom, how could you get all of that done in a month?" - real funny, Reader - I'm being serious here. Normally nothing MAJOR is changed in these episodes, there was the year I quit drunk dialing (ok, there was the year I cut BACK on drunk dialing), followed by the year I quit doing shots (ok, the year I cut BACK on doing shots) and the year I quit making bad decisions (ok, that one is just a flat-out lie).
Of course I am kidding - it is just that instead of gradually making small changes, like normal humans, I prefer to get in a really shitty mood for a month and make wholesale changes. Normally when people ask what the hell is wrong with me I say, "I think I am having a mid-mid-life crisis". Seeing as how I do this at least once a year, however, I think I will just call it "Nom's Annual Period". (Ooooh the acronym is NAP - I like it)
I haven't taken stock of life since moving to the Land of Cleves a little over a year ago. I think I assumed getting a big-kid job meant I didn't need to have these freak-outs anymore. As much fun as the last year has been I have been in a pretty nasty funk for the last two months and decided to do something about it.
I have been on a health-kick that has resulted in a totally revamped diet and workout routine. Besides the fact that I lost 10 lbs and actually look in shape instead of like a fatty fatty fat fat – I once again fit into my weapon of choice – a 1982 Neil Diamond World Tour shirt. Rawr.
Another welcomed change has been my drinking habits. I love whiskey. No seriously I love the stuff. Problem is - Crown and Cokes are like a delicious candy left on the pillow of bad decisions. I can’t drink the stuff without blacking out. I still love to get smootmahootnied - but regret my last few blackouts and have learned to stop when I get drunk enough to dance (for everyone’s sake). I have also stopped going out as much. Having money left to hit up concerts and games is amazing – and W. 6th will still be there next weekend.
I have also done a lot of little things – reading, catching up with friends I have lost touch with, concerts, Tribe games and even writing quite a bit.
While I am still in a bit of a funk I think I have realized why I get like this. It is easy for me to lull myself into a routine – to become too scheduled and comfortable. I had gotten to the point where life was easy – work all week, eat junk food everyday, when the weekend hits I would roll down W 6th wasted and spend the daylight in recovery. Life was easy, and damn good.
Am I finally growing up? Of course not – don’t be ridiculous, Reader. That being said – my priorities have definitely shifted. I am getting back into challenging myself at every opportunity. The books I read, the conversations, even my diet and exercise habits are ways to see what I am capable of and avoid the status quo (that and I want to look good naked). What is the point of life if not to put yourself in every opportunity to succeed and find out what you are capable of? To quote my favorite movie "It is a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself...makes you wonder what else you can do."
I guess this incredibly long and painfully dramatic post comes with this realization: The pursuit of happiness is just as much about the pursuit as it is the happiness.
Or maybe I just need some Midol.