If we're being honest with ourselves, let's admit that we all put way too much effort into being cool.
And that those pants make you look fat.
But mostly the cool thing.
The music we listen to, clothes we wear, bars we frequent to black out and wake up singing karaoke to the Cranberries - all of these things are part of our effort to be 'cool'.
And then Christmas comes along and suddenly we've got a pair of pleated slacks pulled up to our belly-button and some bright white New Balances on.
What am I talking about?
It sucks. Christmas music is just shitty music that someone recycled with the addition of the word 'Christmas'.
Adding 'Christmas' to a song is like giving it a boob job - it still sucks but now there's something to look at.
Name one good Christmas song. A song you would listen to if it weren't Christmas. '12 Days of Christmas'? That's like listening to a CD of someone singing '99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall'
That's why no matter how much Christmas Spirit you try to run off on me or how much egg nog you force down my throat, you'll never see me singing along to Christmas music.
Unless the Cranberries put out a Christmas album.