Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Freaks and Geeks

I feel bad for people with super weird sexual fetishes.

Because we all have our own tastes and preferences.

I'm really into brussell sprouts. Love those damn things. They're like the chicken nuggets of the vegetable world. A lot of people don't like them - but I'm not relegated to the dark corners of the internet because I fry those little bastards up once a week.

Same goes with a lot of things - modern art, foot rubs, roller coasters. We don't really control whether or not we like these things, and for the most part, we don't get called perverts for preferring to wear earth tones over jewel tones.

So why doesn’t this extend into the bedroom? Why are furbies weird, but marathon runners are normal. One gets turned on by the Easter Bunny, the other enjoys the physical hell and bloody nipples that only 26 miles of voluntary running can provide.

Hell - some peoples' weird tastes actually make them COOLER. No one has ever come home from a first date and been like, "Um, yeah...things were going really well until we went back to his place and he tried to get me to listen to Dinosaur Jr. It was disgusting. I didn't even know people DID that."

Imagine being some guy that likes to wear women's underwear listening to someone who likes anchovies complain about how weird their tastes are. “Oh man - I'd hate to be you ordering a pizza - luckily for me I just enjoy the way a frilly pink thong makes me feel like a man. In comparison, I guess the crushing loneliness I feel from living without the intimate touch of another human isn’t so bad.”

Why do we have to hate on that? As long as no one is getting hurt, I can't blame someone for something they can't control.

Besides, it's not like he's into Nickelback, or something.

That would be disgusting.


Moooooog35 said...

Like they say, one man's fetish is another goat's hemorrhoid.

Or something like that.

Fizzgig said...

I'm with you on the sprouts! There is nothing in the world like a perfectly prepared brussel sprout! But, I'm a fan of a frozen sprout too!

They are good plain, seasoned, microwaved, steamed, and oh, especially fried......

Anonymous said...

Fried brussel sprouts? That sounds so kinky. But seriously; What do you do deep fry them? Because without first par boiling them wouldn't you have to saute them for half an hour to have them cooked all the way through? Large Louie

Valerie A. Heck Esmont said...

I've been reading the Dan Savage advice column and it's helped me be more relaxed about all kinds of things. Everyone is different and likes different things and that's cool.