As mentioned previously, someone got me wet and I've started sprouting off little miniature gremlin Narms. Which is a funny way to say that my wife is pregnant.
Well, funny to me. She doesn't see the humor in it. I told her it could be worse, she could have to lay a giant egg and then sit on it for nine months. She didn't see the humor in that either. Something tells me I'm doing this wrong.
In an effort to make up for these horrible jokes, I have granted my wife her wish and we will not be finding out the sex of Baby Narm.
Which begs the question - which do I want - a boy or a girl?
With a boy, he would be into super heroes and sports and we could grow beards together.
But it would be hard watching a jubilant, happy young boy slowly realize he is going to grow up to be a nonathletic, balding short guy with no real discernible skills outside of fart jokes.
If we have a girl, she would be cute and spoiled and finally give my wife someone to shop with so I don't have to sleep on the benches outside of Macy's.
But she would also do that annoying thing girls do where they make-up dance moves to songs by taking every lyric literally. Plus, I have a huge nose resting below a unibrow - and I don't think that is a good look for a teenage girl tying to fit in with the cool kids.
So, in the end, I don't really care - boy or girl, blue or pink - I'll love that kid the same either way.
I just hope for one thing...
...it has its mother's genes.