Thursday, May 31, 2012


As mentioned previously, someone got me wet and I've started sprouting off little miniature gremlin Narms.  Which is a funny way to say that my wife is pregnant.

Well, funny to me.  She doesn't see the humor in it.  I told her it could be worse, she could have to lay a giant egg and then sit on it for nine months.  She didn't see the humor in that either.  Something tells me I'm doing this wrong.

In an effort to make up for these horrible jokes, I have granted my wife her wish and we will not be finding out the sex of Baby Narm.

Which begs the question - which do I want - a boy or a girl?

With a boy, he would be into super heroes and sports and we could grow beards together.

But it would be hard watching a jubilant, happy young boy slowly realize he is going to grow up to be a nonathletic, balding short guy with no real discernible skills outside of fart jokes.  

If we have a girl, she would be cute and spoiled and finally give my wife someone to shop with so I don't have to sleep on the benches outside of Macy's.

But she would also do that annoying thing girls do where they make-up dance moves to songs by taking every lyric literally.  Plus, I have a huge nose resting below a unibrow - and I don't think that is a good look for a teenage girl tying to fit in with the cool kids.

So, in the end, I don't really care - boy or girl, blue or pink - I'll love that kid the same either way.

I just hope for one thing... has its mother's genes.  


Joanna M said...

Awesome post! And a great attitude - although I do think you are too hard on yourself.

Moooooog35 said...

First: Congratulations, my friend. I trust that if it's a boy it will be named "Rodney Narm Narmlastname" in reference to the 2 greatest people in the history of ever.

Second: BOY. I have one of each. I play XBox with my son and we can fart together. My daughter got her period at age 11 and I had to go buy her pads.

'nuff said.

Welcome, little Rodney Narm. Welcome.

Bite Buff said...

Ha, great post!

Fizzgig said...

even though I have succomb to a life of being child free, I always get excited when my friends have girls.because I am selfish, and want to buy them things i like. This is why I'm not having kids. The selfishness.

I think it would be super exciting though, to wonder the whole time what you will have! Not many people can do that these days, and you will be so surprised, and have so much to look forward to!!

you will love the baby either way. and that's the most important part!! So sweet!

Lemmonex said...

And this is where I be an annoying feminist: Or you could have a little girl who loves softball or a son who likes movies and the kid doesn't fit in to your stereotypes and preconceived notions at all.

And that is what I think seems pretty cool about having kids. I am 100% convinced when the day comes I am going to have some arty kid and have no clue what to do with her. One of life's many adventures.

Narm said...

@Lemmonex - My wife likes action movies and superheroes more than I do. And she is one of the biggest sports fans I know. If we have a girl it will definitely like those things.

But that would've ruined the premise for this blog, and inspiration has been hard to come by these days.

Idea #527 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Idea #527 said...

Congratulations! My Dad was really wanting a boy and ended up with 2girls and so for birthdays and Christmas we would get remote control cars and super soakers. My Mom was big into playing sports, so luckily we ended up coordinated and athletic too.

My Dad is with Mental Poo though. . . my Dad couldn't handle the "girl" stuff and pretty sure showed any guy that entered his house his huge gun collection. :) And might have told my sister's high school boyfriend to give him his dick and he'd give it back to him after prom. Not embarrassing at all.