Monday, October 25, 2010

Weddings, Wallets and Wisdom

My wedding Saturday - which explains both why I haven't been posting regularlry and why I have uncontrollably sweating for a month straight. Is it hot in here?

But now that the hard part is over (writing the checks) I want to take a minute to reflect on the joy that is wedding planning.

If anyone out there is thinking about getting married, STOP IT YOU CRAZY FOOL! RUN! FASTER! ELOPE! RUN LIKE THE WIND AND LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND! THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU! FIND A BEACH, A PRIEST AND A MARGARITA!

There is an interesting phenomenon that comes with planning a wedding. Things have a way of...adding up.

For instance, if you want to buy a cake, you can easily get quoted for a couple hundred dollars.

But if you want a WEDDING cake? Well now we are talking closer to four figures. And, apparently, it is bad etiquette to write, "Please give money" on it.

Photographer? Let's just say it is more expensive than the portrait studio at Sears. And they wouldn't let us wear matching Christmas sweaters.

I better look like Brad Pitt in these pictures. Well, Brad Pitt 10 years ago. Dude is starting to look like one of those, "What will you look like in 20 years?" pictures. But he started with a picture of Bea Arthur and THEN had it aged.

And that doesn't even include the flowers, the invitations (I suggested using Evite.com), the dress and dinner.

You add the word "wedding" in front of anything and it is an automatic 200% write-up.

But the word "wedding" isn't even the most expensive one I've run into. In fact, "wedding" is practically CHEAP compared to another word that I've been hearing a lot lately -

"Wife"

I mean...love you, Honey.

Crap, that one is going to cost me.

14 comments:

Fizzgig said...

it sure costs a pretty penny. I think thats why I had a warm up wedding. get it out of the way you know.

happy nuptuals!!! Wife is way cheaper than baby! and this may be debatable but I think probably much quieter too.

Moooooog35 said...

If you think the wedding is expensive, just wait until the divorce.

shine said...

That's why you call it a "family gathering" and then laugh when they all show up with the flowers and cake and realize that you've tricked them.

Alicia at Poise in Parma said...

just another reason why I want to be a "wedding" planner - not just an "event" planner! means a higher paycheck!

congrats!

PomJob said...

RE: Evite
A guy from college scanned a piece of paper on which his wedding "invitation" was printed, attached it to an e-mail and sent it to his fraternity brothers with the body copy of "Hope you can come to the wedding. It'll be a good party. We're going to drink until we pass out, bring a tent." And the bride was pregnant.

Andrea said...

I've seen Facebook wedding invites pop up on my newsfeed. It probably would have been in bad taste to click 'attending' if I wasn't invited, even though it's not my fault they made it a public event.

Amy G said...

Is "evite.com" your secret name for me?!?

Pam said...

Very much enjoying your writing! I wish you and your intended the very best, and know that things will only get more costly...sigh....but sooo much more lovely!

Allison M. said...

i can't wait to see these pictures!

Idea #527 said...

Wedding prices are just ridiculous!
Congrats this weekend! Is it Zombie themed?? ;)

Idea #527 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I hope i get you full value at the bar. Like my father in law who wore his tux all weekend after my wedding, he needed to get his "full value" out of the rental!

Andhari said...

Congratulations.

Please upload some of the pictures here :D

Awkward 24/7 said...

Congratulations!!