Monday, March 7, 2011

Cuz I'm A Flirt

Life has a funny way of kicking me in the groin now and then.

Remember how just last week I lamented about how horrible my life was because no one would flirt with me anymore?

Well, I was hit on Friday night.

And it was the worst thing ever.

I expected the angels to sing. Confetti. Maybe a high school marching band. In my head there would be a cameraman there asking me what I was going to next.

"I'm going to Disney World!"

But there was none of that. Just the sad realization that I had spent 24 years of my life trying to sell myself like a reject shirt on the CLEARANCE pile at Marshalls. The free drinks, the bad pick-up lines, the awkwardly staring at girls across the bar trying to overcome the paralyzing fear of actually speaking to them - all of that wasted.

Suddenly all of that blood, sweat and Red Bull that I put into being single came rushing back to my memory.

And now? Now that I'm happily married and just trying to stay out past 11 on a Friday?

Now I get hit on.

Looking this good never hurt so bad.

3 comments:

lacochran's evil twin said...

When you're married everybody wants you.

Wait, not you. That's me.

Moooooog35 said...

Were you wearing your wedding ring?!

If so, then that's TWO posts you need to recant and that I have to somehow try to unread.

I hope you're happy.

Buck said...

Was it a guy or a girl?