I am one of the biggest sports fanatics you'll ever meet.
I'm that guy that spends HOURS everyday reading message boards for his favorite teams. I follow six different beat-writers for the Miami Dolphins. So when news breaks, I get to hear it six times in various 140 character flavors.
I watch at least bits and pieces of every game from my favorite teams. If you are keeping score at home (and I would not only be keeping stats but would have them in an easy sortable Excel spreadsheet), that means 162 baseball games and 82 basketball games.
What about football, you ask?
I haven't missed a single Miami Dolphins game in the last ten years. And let me tell you, that is a LOT of crying for one man to do.
So you would think attending sporting events would be like mass for my religious following of men in matching tank tops.
When I am at a sporting event, I can barely tell you the score. I don't know how much time is left. Hell, sometimes I'm not even sure which sport I am watching.
Because people watching is much more important. Who wants to watch a homerun when you could watch a dancing fat kid instead? Or sneak a peek at that girl in the low-cut shirt bending down to get her beer. Or that fat kid in the low cut shirt bending down to get jiggy wit' it.
And that is just in the first quarter/inning/period. There has to be a round of "Dating Up", "I Spy" and "Celebrity Look-Alikes".
Not to mention the glorious Kiss Cam. Oh, man, is she going to kiss that old guy? GROOOOOSSS!
It has gotten to the point where watching the actual game is like a commercial - I just want to fast-forward to the end of the quarter.
Because I know they're going to play Will Smith and that fat kid is going to break. it. down.