Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Remember when I was all excited about getting egged?  About how I had finally achieved the American Dream?

Well, it happened again.

And I realized something...

...nobody cool ever gets egged.

James Dean never got egged.  Bono doesn't get egged.  I'll guarantee @DadBoner never gets egged, you guys.

You don't have to be a mathematician to know there is 0% chance you'll ever drive past Tom Hanks house and see him in PJ's and a winter coat, hosing egg off of his window.

As I was standing there, sandles in socks, hose in hand, the two teenage neighbor kids walked out to their car and asked what happened.

"I got egged."

"You got egged?  Do you even have kids?"


"And you still got egged?"



I got the egg off my window - but I can't seem to get it off my face.


Moooooog35 said...

Consider yourself lucky. This just happened once to you.

Octomom gets egged all the time.

Kyna said...

Someone threw an egg onto my windshield while I was driving once. In Canada, in the dead of winter.

By the time I got home, I couldn't get that egg off with a freaking jackhammer.

I AM pretty cool though. So there's a hole in your argument.

Arko said...

Your closing line is supposed to seal the deal. Way to cliche for me.

More importantly, you think Tom Hanks is cool?

Fizzgig said...

reason #3,456 it's ok to live in the ghetto. Crackheads would never waste eggs on houses or cars, this is probably the only protein they can afford.

Thank you for making me feel better about myself, and my place in the world. I knew i came here for a reason.

Anonymous said...

As many eggs as I tossed as a kid, I'm still waiting to get egged.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Maybe next time you'll spring for the real stuff instead of Baby Rudes and KitBats.