Thursday, February 9, 2012
Flushing Money Away
You are looking at by far the most luxurious item in my house.
Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of nice things, but nothing compares to that.
That, dear Readers, is a $120 toilet flusher thing.
But I didn't pay $120. Because that would be crazy.
No, I found it on the clearance rack at Home Depot.
I looked at the guy stocking it and said, "Wait, that ONE toilet-flusher thing is $120?"
To which he responded, "Yeah, but it's on clearance so it is only $60."
Oh, well that makes sense - because $60 for a $5 toilet flusher thing is a STEAL.
"So why is it on clearance?" I asked.
"Oh, it was part of a set that was sold."
Part of a set? A set of what? The toilet has one button - and this is it. Did it come with curtains? Is there a reverse button? What the hell was so special about this toilet flusher thing?
I had to own it.
"I'm not paying $60 to flush my toilet. You'd be an idiot to spend more than $5 on this."
"Alright, I'll do half of that - $30 and it's yours."
What we have now, my friends, is a negotiation.
For $30 I could go buy six toilet flusher thingies and have a party. They could be like a stocking stuffer. I could give one to my friends and we could form a secret society of toilet flushers. Like blood-brothers, but grosser.
"$30 is $25 more than any rational person would pay for a toilet flusher thing."
"Ok, fine - $20."
"$20? How the hell do you plan on selling this thing? It was part of a set!"
"Just give me $10 and get that thing out of here, I'm never going to sell it anyways."
And that's how I got a $120 toilet flusher thing.
Now if I could only find the matching set.