Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Picture Taking - Part 1

There are so, so many things I don’t understand about girls – now many of these things I am smart enough to not ask about - and most of the others I don’t want to know. That being said, there is one area I would like clarification on: Picture taking.

I lead a boring life…a REALLY boring life…I mean last week I watched almost an entire episode of Malcolm in the Middle – anyways, this lack of meaningful stimulation forces me to spend an awkward amount of time on social networks viewing people’s page, and subsequently, their pictures.

Now, as a guy I understand how guy’s pictures work. Either the guy is wasted, or striking a pose he hopes will help him get laid in the future. (I understand this is slightly redundant in that if a guy is wasted – EVERYTHING he does is in the hope that he will get laid.) My point is that there is no confusion – no head-scratchers – nothing that makes you sit back and think, “At what point in my life would I stop and say – I not only want to do this – but I want picture evidence of it later.” Which brings us to girls…

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Notice in this picture - the guy is obviously drunk and happy to be in a picture with 5 good looking girls. Fair enough - he is holding his arms up and smoking a cigarette - again trying to look cool / funny in an attempt to get laid. No problems here. But why do 3 of the girls feel the need to squat? Am I confused and this is actually their high-school team basketball picture? Are they a church choir - or doing a cheer? The girl on the far right looks like she has squatter's envy since she got stuck in the back row. On both sides is a load of luxurious space that could be filled with people - but instead everyone is hunched over. Do girls always want the option to put the picture in a frame and assume they need the extra side-space? Do girls consider the squat a flattering pose? Before the picture are you like - "Wait! Make sure you focus on the tops of my shoulders and my ass sticking out!"

Now there are plenty of other things girls do in pictures that I don’t understand and may write about in the future (gang signs, kissy face, and the worst – a picture of everyone's feet) but for now lets focus on the squatting. Maybe some of you can answer the following questions:

Why must you squat?
Is it always the same person squatting (can you be a squatter or non-squatter)?
Sub-question - If not - do you fight over who GETS to squat?
Is the squat predetermined or is it done in the heat of the moment?
Why is it never the girl in a low-cut shirt?

Ok maybe that last one was a bit skeezy - but it bears asking! Knowing most of you reading this are of the female persuasion please help me understand "The Squat" and it's place in society.


Anonymous said...

Ah, yes, the squat. Very similar to one I call "the lean." I have a friend who sends me pictures where in every single one all the girls are leaning in toward the middle. It looks ridiculous and I make fun of her. To her face. The only logical answer (since I know I am also guilty of the squat as well as the lean) I can come up with is this: Girls like to huddle and get close so that every one knows what great friends they are. Oh, and if I had the low-cut shirt on, you know I'd be the one leaning in!

Allison M. said...

I agree with Amy. Typically when girls take pictures, there are 6-8 so in order to get everyone in the picture...a girl or three must squat to make sure she's in the picture. I have a friend who we call the paparazzi. I never need to bring a camera (I'm sure that's another pet peeve of yours) because she will always ALWAYS bring it.

Hot Coffee Girl said...

Maybe they had too much to drink?