I've been watching "Life" on the Discovery channel because I am a giant nerd and was probably watching the Discovery channel anyways, but since a popular show came on now I can pretend like I'm cool.
If you don't know what "Life" is, you better get one! BURN!
Anyways, it is pretty much just like "Planet Earth" but less cool and more Oprah-y. Instead of just giving obscure facts and showing pictures that make my ridiculously awesome plasma TV outrank my girlfriend in my life, "Life" adds puns. Like when talking about birds and saying, "this bird is low in the pecking order". Get it? Because Oprah is a pecker?
(Side note - haven't called anyone a pecker in at least 13 years. It feels good. Real good.)
Last night they talked about birds. I have a love hate relationship with birds. I grew up in the country, so I am one of 6 people under the age of 65 to have ever participated in bird watching. For you city kids, imagine bum watching, but with less garbage and scratching themselves.
So even with my extensive bird knowledge, I still find them to be completely filthy disgusting animals. When was the last time you saw a group of birds and wanted to run and frolic with them? They are like the anti-puppy. (Editors note - penguins do not fall into this same category. I am convinced they aren't birds, but nature's comic relief).
And so last night, I watched a program that was more or less a slow-motion play-by-play of those damn things "feeding" each other.
Which means their parents go binge eat and then puke all over their babies.
Who decided that was ok? Was god just like, "Shit, I don't know what to do with these things. How about the parents are bulimic and the babies are trying out for 2girls1cup the sequel?"
Somewhere a frat house was watching this and were PUMPED. "Dude, that robin parties so hard. I bet he gets a TON of chicks."
Whoops. Ok, maybe this pun thing is kind of fun.