Thursday, April 22, 2010

SYKE!

I've been pretty hard on Nickelback here at the 'Neck. I mean, yes, they are a completely talentless waste of overprocessed rock cliches forced down our throats by record executives who realize that with enough repetition, you can force-feed a public that has been brainwashed from accepting anything new and innovative.

But other than that - it is just a couple of douche-bags in a rock band. Nothing new there. I was once in a completely horrible rock band that relied on cliche and imitation - if the cards had fallen another way maybe I would be Chad Kroeger and he would be some blogger making fun of me all the time. Too bad for him, he'd still be ugly.

So with all my hatred for Nickelback in full force, I think I have found someone to unseat them as "Most Horrible Thing Since The Boy Band Era".


BAM!

Wanda Sykes.

I've been sitting here thinking about anything that could possibly be worse than Wanda Sykes -

Papercuts.
Carrots.
Helping a friend move a pull-out couch to his new apartment on the 14th floor.
Girls with small boobies.
Having a runny nose and nothing to wipe it so you use your sleeve and then it dries and is really gross.
Anything done by Tyler Perry.
Two and Half Men.
People who digress from stories and talk about people I don't know, and therefore don't care about.
Justin Beiber.

Nope.

Nothing.

Those things all suck. But not as much as Wanda Sykes.

Help me out - name something that could possibly be worse than sitting through a full hour of Wanda Sykes stand-up routine.

29 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

Gallagher doing an impression of Wanda Sykes singing Nickelback.

What do I win?

Matt said...

Remember when they had Wanda Sykes on Inside the NFL for the last season or so?

That was awful. Like, unbearable awful.

miss. chief said...

Really? I think she's super funny.

Page Seven said...

I don't know man, I love her on Curb, she's hilarious.

Rachel said...

Having a hangover so bad you have the spins, and you hit the snooze button cursing the night before and wondering who's great idea it was to do shots...I mean, really, you're almost 30. You should be more mature...and then, just as you're dozing through the pounding headache and nausea for the 9 minutes of bliss the snooze bar gives you, your closet organizer bars snap in half with a loud crash, and leave all of your freshly-cleaned and ironed clothes in a pile on the floor on top of your dirty clothes, leaving you to sniff test your black pants, because you can't remember which ones you wore last week. And not getting it right on the first try. Or that was just me.

Momcat said...

Boys with big boobies are worse than girls with small boobies!

Jordan said...

Quit hating on Tyler Perry, hater!

Oh and I think Kathy Griffin is worse.

Shanel said...

Wanda Sykes is ok... I like her political humor and her recent visit to Bill Maher... I don't really care for her show .... it's blah.. but I do like her.... something worse... much worse... Sarah Palin.... can't stand her...

PeachyTO said...

Come on, she was classic in Pootie Tang!

saratogajean said...

An hour of Steven Wright's comedy.

Holy fucking shit, kill me now.

But kill him first, so I can watch.

Fizzgig said...

*looks around* I like wanda sykes.

Brandonian said...

John McCain doing yo mamma jokes for an hour!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

uhmm, I love her. Her humour is dry and witty. She is hilarious.

Gilahi said...

Lady Gaga (would be more appropriate without that last "a")
Christina Aguilera
Mary J. Blige
Gwen Stefani
Alanis Morisette (or however you spell it)

Hey, the list just goes on and on...

alison said...

Sitting through two hours of a Wanda Sykes stand-up routine?

SpikeWrite said...

Sitting through a full hour of Wanda Sykes in person.

Toe said...

Niecy Nash. Every time I see that slimy piece of hair lacquered to the side of her face I imagine it being a snake trying to bite her obnoxious mouth off.

fencer_22 said...

SYFY's original movies (worst actors and graphics to plague television since before the color t.v. and the plot lines suck)

Rahul said...

Let's be honest. Women aren't funny. This is expected.

Good thing no women write or read blogs.

Looks like I'm safe.

Anonymous said...

Guys with small dicks.

Andhari said...

"Girls with small boobies."


OH COME ON.lol.

However, I can say Two and a Half Men is probably just as annoying.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you obviously have a strong opinion about Mrs. Sykes! I strongly disagree with almost everything that was uttered in that list. I believe that you are just whining about something that you don't like. Sorry about that,

Agreeable- Justin Beiber/Tyler Perry

The Mad Scorpion said...

I have to agree. And that is so weird, as she was going to be one of my next blog topics too, haha! What is UP with that woman?? When she first came on the scene she was funny, but only for five seconds and then the "novelty" of her whiny fucking voice and pissed-off-black-woman demeanour wore off REEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAL fast... UGH.

Jez said...

I like Wanda. Not sorry about it, either. See, you don't get it because you're not just a white boy, you're a white boy who grew up in small town Ohio.

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Travis said...

A turd covered in burnt hair.

Allison M. said...

anything done by Tyler Perry? I don't think so. There IS SOMETHING that is worse than Wanda.

P.S. Tim likes her routine they air on HBO.

ClimbinTrees said...

Name one thing worse? OK! TWILIGHT!!!

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