Monday, May 24, 2010

America The Beeee-utiful

God bless America. Land that I love.

We are a great nation. But, we are an ugly nation. A fat nation. A...horribly dressed nation.

You see, I love finding Old Glory flying outside of people's homes or at the post office or at major league ballparks.

But I don't like to see it hugging an overweight person's ass.

Who decided it was ok to wear the American flag as clothing? Was there a designer that was like - GOT IT! Let's slap the Stars and Stripes on this frilly vest!

I like a lot of things - bacon, dogs, boobies - but you don't see me trying to wear them anywhere.

And the worst part? It is disrespectful. The American flag is not supposed to be left out in the rain, so if you are wearing it as...wait...

New rule - girls - wear all the American flag apparel you can find.

5 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

Does this mean I have to take off my Bacon-Schnauzer-Double-D jumpsuit off?

Jez said...

I think a shirt made entirely of bacon would score all the fine ladies.

Owen said...

If you wore a dog in public, I'd laugh. I mean, I went into a Fred Meyers dressed up like a pimp/red mage (final fantasy). No one gave me a weird look at all. But I agree 100% on the new rule.

Rachel said...

As a woman, I would most definitely score with a guy in a shirt made of bacon. Hot and delicious...it'd add at least 4 points to anyone.

Sil said...

You haven't lived until you've worn bacon pants.