Monday, May 10, 2010

Smell Ya Later

I want you to smell me.

Was that weird? I feel like that came out wrong.

I want you to smell my house.

Every time you go into someone's home - you smell it. Every home has a different smell - not necessarily good or bad - just unique.

Grandma houses always smell kinda old and like weird perfume. Like you unearthed a mummy's tomb. College houses smell like beer and old socks. Crack houses smell like regret and urine and ginger bread houses smell like Christmas.

But what does my house smell like?

I hope it smells like something awesome. Like diesel fuel and fireworks. Or burnt rubber and strippers.

But more than likely it smells like those damn "lavender and chamomile" candles the lady friend has in the living room.

I bet Rambo's house never smelled like this.


Always a Bridesmaid said...

I bet your house smells like ladies' deodorant...

Page Seven said...

Rambo's house smells like revenge!

Or something close to that.

Moooooog35 said...

Had that chick not died in his arms in Rambo 2, his house TOTALLY would have smelled like that.

And rice.

I'm pretty sure they were in Vietnam in that one.

Lady Fromage said...

I always wonder that about our home, too.

I was uber excited to come back after 3 weeks from the wedding/honeymoon, I really hoped being away so long would allow me to find out what our house actually smelled like (Maybe my nose wouldn't be used to the smell anymore?)

It smelled like a house no one had lived in for 3 weeks. Not so cool.

Ed said...

Rambo's house smells like Blood, Sweat, and gun powder.

And it's not a house, it's a jungle lean-to.

I would tell you how I know this, but then we would both have to be killed.

Bite Buff said...

Ha! As a "lady friend", I am here to say that it is our j-o-b to make sure that our/your house doesn't smell funky. It's one of my biggest worries when having people over. Because of course you smell everyone else's house when you walk in!

LiLu said...

But if it had, I bet Rambo would've gotten laid a lot more often...

Just sayin.

Fizzgig said...

mmm that sounds deelish!

Mine smells like root beer float (candle) with undertones of a yeast-y dog. mmmm

Rahul said...

I love Rambo. Especially the part when that Russian guy goes "If he dies, he dies" and then he screams about Adrien and what not.

Sil said...

Perhaps you need to spice it up.
Invite some Somalian pirates to stay for two weeks. And then try to source some professional ninjas (I'd come if i wasnt so busy ninja-ing all over the place Kwah!) - I swear it wont smell like lavender and chamomile after that.

Dawn said...

My house smells like bacon and regret. And possibly teen angst. Please send candles.

Gypsy Glamorous said...

My boyfriends house smells like a lumberjacks armpit after cutting down the forest. I don't know why. He is not a lumberjack.

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