Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Happy Bidet To You, Happy Bidet To You

As I mentioned before, the wife and I are finally taking our honeymoon this spring. We're heading to Italy for two weeks of relaxation, great culture and better food.

Or at least that's what I told her.

The real reason I am going?

I want to try out a bidet.

Why don't we have these in America? This is a country of excess and comfort - where 50 yr old housewives drive Hummers and 6 yr olds have cell phones. We couldn't take the next step and add in a bidet?

Never having used a bidet, I am also a bit nervous. I mean, I've done what any rational person would do and watched as many Youtube videos about them as possible, but I didn't realize how complicated the entire process would be.

I pictured it as a Sprite commercial - like a big splash of cold mountain water hitting you in the face. But in this case your face is your butt.

But after some research, there are temperature controls and speed controls - it is just like a shower - except you don't pee in it.

With this new information, I have to admit I'm less excited about the prospect of using a bidet. In my mind it was like those water fountains at the mall that shoot water out of the ground and little kids always sit on. But now it just seems like a really cruel trick. Like if your VCR shot water out of it when you were trying to set the time.

But I'll still try it out. I just can't promise I'll put it on Youtube.


Brutalism said...

My sister has bidets in her house in Florida. Perhaps the idea is catching on in this country. Perhaps you recognize her from YouTube?

Fizzgig said...

It took me a super long time to warm up to the idea of using wet wipes for adults (charmin wipes) after using the toilet.

I don't know about showering every time. Your not even spose to shower your real skin too many times a day, itll dry out..i cant imagine what will happen to the delicates!

Anonymous said...

What do you mean, "except you don't pee in it". I think you're wrong in either case. Forget the bidets, the toilets are different. Scatological wildness. LL

Moooooog35 said...


That's not a bubbler?!?