Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Locks of Love

As I've mentioned before, I don't have a go-to haircut.

And when I start to get frustrated with what to do with the mop of always thinning, always graying, always retreating hair on my head, I have one course of action:

Shave it all off.

So thats what I did. I went to the barber and got myself a nice buzz cut. With my beard and new short doo, I look like a cast member from Prison Break, only I can act.

But during my visit to the hair cuttery, the barber made an...alarming...comment.

Just as I was checking out (and after I had already tipped him) he held up a bottle to me.

"Hey, this stuff really helps guys with thinning hair."

I was confused. Did he think I needed that for a friend? Is it close to Christmas and I just forgot? Is my beard thinning out?

Then it hit me. I'm balding.

I knew I had a widow's peak. My hair is retreating away from my face so fast I thought it had to be French. And I have quite a few grays for a kid that turns 28 this week.


My Dad has a nice head of hair - and I inherited his ridiculous 70's wave that makes me look like a Justin Beiber fan if my hair gets past my forehead. So if he has hair, I have to be keeping mine, right? RIGHT!??! TELL ME, READER.


So when I arrived back home, I was a bit...emotional. I thought I was destined to have more hair on my chinny-chin chin than on my head.

Looking for support, I asked my wife for her opinion.

She took a few steps back, looked at my head, took a few steps to the left, to the right - got a view from every angle and vantage point.

Then she tilted her head to the side, looked me in the eye and said...

"Man, your nose is HUUUUGE!"

Thanks for the support, Honey.


Moooooog35 said...

Try this:

Went to an amusement park with my kids and girlfriend.

As I'm spraying my kids with sunscreen, my girlfriend says:

"Do you want me to spray this?"

Me: "What?"

GF: *pokes my bald spot*

And then I killed myself.

taawd said...

@notjnomina not stay on topic? whaaat? the earth will certainly end soon.

ClevelandPoet said...

well the next time someone mentions it just smash them with your huge nose?

Dawn said...

I was always taught that we get our hair from our maternal grandparents. So how was yo mamma's daddy?asunab

Fizzgig said...

lol, you gotta love a wifes honesty, right?

at least you dont have to worry about sagging boobs. You can shave your head, and still look dapper. even naked, your shaved head will look super, and distinguished, and some may say...sexy....

but sagging boobs? sure, we can hide them in a nice expensive bra, but thats as far as it goes.

count your blessings!