Thursday, June 2, 2011

Brush With Death

I've mentioned before how my wife is the Enemy of Routine. And also how we like to share.

But it has officially gone to far.

She used my toothbrush.

And, honestly? That isn't a big deal. We do that all the time on vacations and when role playing about being a naughty dentist...

...but by using my toothbrush, she forced me into a terrible decision:

I walk into the bathroom, notice that there are two toothbrushes - mine, which has just been used, and hers.

Which do I use?

Do I use mine? Even though it is still wet from having been used by her?

Do I use hers? Even though she eats disgusting things like carrots?

What kinds of germs are toothbrush germs? Are they fresh and short-term - waiting on the newly wettened bristles of my own dear toothbrush?

Or do they fester after months of use - building strength and organizing like an army of food bits and morning breath?

And that is just too much thinking first thing in the morning. I want the first question I answer in the morning to be, "How handsome is too handsome, and have I crossed that line?" - not risking mouth-death over the wrong choice of toothbrush.

After contemplation, I decided to use her toothbrush.

But the whole situation left a bad taste in my mouth.


Moooooog35 said...

That's the toothbrush she uses to detail the toilet.

You might want to see a doctor.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

wait, i don't get it. if she has her own toothbrush why doesn't she use it?

i can understand in a pinch but if hers is right next to yours why doesn't she just use her own?

i don't even want to think about what happens with your underwear drawer.


Narm said...

@Alexa - She is a morning zombie and just grabbed the first thing she saw. And it ruined me.

Brutalism said...

I used my husband's once by mistake and then wanted to gargle with bleach. I love the guy...but there is such a thing as too much sharing. (Says the woman who writes two blogs, a column, and has facebook and Twitter accounts...)

msx said...

reminds me of the how i met your mother episode in which lily and marshall share a toothbrush:

lacochran's evil twin said...

I can't get past your tag "Wives are like really hot parents."

Your therapist must love the job security.

Ed said...

This one time, at dentist camp, I shoved a toothbrush in...

Oh wait, I'm thinking of something else.

ClevelandPoet said...

the two toothbrushes probably make out when you aren't around anyway and pass the germs back and forth until they become super germs and cause death from the mouth.

Fizzgig said...

oooh, this is some serious stuff! i dunno, it has like, germs and bacteria in it.

now that i am thinking about it, we should really use a new toothbrush every day. i cant afford this.

im distraught!

badoo said...

Fantastic work full of creativity. Congratulations. Continue your path!

dentist beverly hills said...

That was a very awkward situation which I also find myself dealing with from time to time. I always have to resort to washing my own toothbrush thoroughly before using it again.