Can you imagine how hard life is for teenage suburban white girls?
Can you fathom the decisions they have to make on a daily basis?
Guys have it easy - they spend their time playing sports and fighting acne. They're so young and naive.
But teenage suburban white girls aren't afforded that luxury. They don't get to have an adolescence.
Because when a girl hits 16, she gets more than a driver's license - she gets her first shot at the business world.
She has major decisions: does she get pregnant so she can have a TV show? Or does she wait till she's 18 so she can sell her sex tape?
It's too bad life is unfair to the poor teenage suburban white girl, because if the legal age were 16, she could kill two birds with one stone.
Yes, I'm glad I never had to deal with the stress of people wanting to see my sex tape.
Of course, that could have been because of the acne.