Monday, October 3, 2011

Fighting Chance

I never got much into the whole 'bar fight' scene.

Perhaps that is because I'm a ninny little girl.

But, also, it is because of my low regard for about 78% of earf's population.

Bar fights always start out with one guy making some wise-ass remark to another guy.  It might be a crack about the other guy's haircut, or his girlfriend, or because he is a ninny little girl.

I don't really understand being offended by people you don't respect.  If a guy in an Affliction shirt calls me a 'pansy', it is hard for me care enough about his opinion to get riled up.  I wouldn't ask for that guy's opinion on anything else in the world, so why would I care about his opinion of me?

Besides, I just planted a bunch of pansies in my cutting garden and they look FAAABULOUS!

If people are going to insult me, I at least want it to be an educated opinion.  Don't just call me an asshole as you walk by to get a reaction - that is too easy.

Take me out to dinner, get to know me - ask me about my favorite color and what celebrity I would like to be stuck with on a deserted island (hint: Christina Hendricks).

That way, you can form a great insult that really cuts deep and hurts.

Just don't mention my pansies.


Moooooog35 said...


By 'pansies' you mean 'Miami Dolphins,' right?

Moooooog35 said...

*runs away

Fizzgig said...

pansies are a great choice! they last into the fall and sometimes come back in the spring!

Wait, wasnt this about fighting?

Fighting is dumb.

ClevelandPoet said...

sweet now I know who to pick a fight with.

Anonymous said...

hahaa.....fighting....."you're just pissed because your wife wants to F*** me!"