A theme of this blog over the years has been 'growing up'.
From buying a house, to getting married, to no longer drinking until I strip down to my boxers and sing Eddie Money songs.
But I'm starting to think I haven't actually 'grown up'...
...I've just turned into an asshole.
I bought a house - was it because I wanted a sound financial investment and a place to start a family?
No, it was because I hate people and living in a large box stacked on top of them is about as much fun as watching Whitney. Not that I don't miss "Creepy Drug Dealer Guy" and "Awkwardly Loud Sex Girl" as my neighbors, but I don't miss them as my neighbors.
Then I got married.
Was it because I found my soul-mate? Someone I couldn't live without? Yeah. But also because dating is the single worst thing in the world. Dating is a mix of acting and negotiating - how much of yourself can you reveal and in what ways can you steer the relationship in your favor. Marriage is awesome - it's like - hey, I'm home and I'm going to leave my shoes right there in that spot you hate even though you complain about it everyday. Have fun leaving toothpaste all over the sink later, because you know that shit drives me nuts.
And once you are married, the bars are useless.
Sure, I used to enjoy going out and spending $75 on liquor and being butts to nuts with 200 other sweaty people I don't like for 6 hours, but you know what? Fuck those people. Bars are all about team work - it is only fun if everyone pitches in to make it fun. But $75 will buy me a damn nice dinner and I'm selfish as hell.
Besides - I can't find a bar with Eddie Money on the jukebox.