I am so embarrassed by my generation's version of the 'tough guy'.
When I see a Harley shirt wearin, handle bar mustachio'd man - I know he is a tough guy. I realize he can beat me up and that I should probably curl up into a little ball and scream things like, "I BRUISE EASILY!"
So what did my generation go and do? We fucked it up.
What is 'tough guy' about a chin-strap beard (I hate to insult the word beard in this sense)? Is "manscaping" sexy? Should I fear you because if I'm not careful you'll take your beard and sideburn trimmer and write something real real mean in my hair?
Or what about these bedazzled shirts with birds and dragons on them? Nothing says "hardass" like sequins. "Hey, yo, Butch - I, uh...I love how yo' shirt sparkles real nice like in the sunlight."
But the worst? Energy drinks.
Why is Monster the new Jack Daniels?
What is tough about energy drinks? Is a guy who has an issue with being drowsy now a turn on?
Is it the "danger" factor? Are you always on the edge of your seat that he'll have one too many energy drinks and then WATCH OUT! He might get the shakes or talk real fast.
I'm fairly sure Kris Kristofferson didn't write "Sunday Morning Coming Down" about that really tired feeling you get after a Red Bull. But then again, today's tough guys couldn't pick Kristofferson out of a lineup.
But it isn' their fault; there isn't much Kris Kristofferson played at the tanning beds.