I've got a new life goal - to be completely average in the most awesome way ever.
In other words, I want to be the new Tom Hanks.
Tom Hanks isn't attractive - but isn't necessarily unattracitve.
He's funny - but not a comedian.
He's a good actor but he's not going to steal any scenes.
He can't dance.
He can't sing.
He isn't an action hero.
I don't even know if the guy seperates his glass from his plastics.
He's just some guy who is pretty likeable and starred in a bunch of movies.
And now that he is famous? He's not in and out of rehab or out hooking up with every new supermodel that comes along - he's just rich as hell and living it up.
I could TOTALLY do that.
Today's stars are either annoyingly attractive or so odd looking it is comedic. They're either in rehab or the adoption line.
Well guess what, Reader - I am average in every way! I'm ok to look at! I can sometimes say funny things but not all the time! If you were to meet me on the street you would probably walk away thinking, "I wonder where I put my keys?" because I'm completely average and forgettable.
SO WHY AM I NOT FAMOUS?
Give me a magic fortune reading, a mermaid, some email, insomnia in Seattle or Meg Ryan and let me show you just how unimpressive I can be.