Here we go again - I'm counting down 30 things I should have/do before I turn 30 on June 30th. We're getting dangerously close to the 30th and I still have 20 more of these to write - so let's double our pleasure.
Things I should have: The ability to ask for directions / A great road map when there's no one to ask
Was this list written in 1862? Do they think I have to find Pocahontas every time I need to find the grocery store? I have an iPhone. I ask Siri for directions and carry Google Maps around in my pocket. It's a great map because after I find directions I can listen to the Spin Doctors.
Things I should do: Make love in open water / Build a fence
Who wrote this list that they had those two consecutive thoughts? "Alright. Top things to do before turning 30. Well, doing it in water HAS to be in the top ten, for obvious reasons. And...ya know it's not quite top ten, but you gotta build a fence. That's real important. Fence building. Can't turn 30 without that."
And the weirdest part is that you have to do these in this order. If you build a fence in the water and then 'make love' in the water, you're no longer in the 'open water.' And after making love, it'd be pretty awkward to be like, "Alright, wanna help me throw this fence up real quick?"
The best is the description: "Under a waterfall or on a sun drenched beach, it’s every woman’s dream and every guys duty."
Having sand in my ass crack is never and will never be a 'dream.' Especially when you then talk about my doodie.