Thursday, June 27, 2013

30 for 30 on the 30th - Parts 25 -27

We're getting so close to my 30th I can almost feel it!  Wait.  Nope.  Just a fart.

Continuing my countdown of 30 things I should have and do before I turn 30 on the 30th - so much having and doing!!!

Things I should have:

Enough confidence to approach someone he finds attractive.

Enough sense not to use a cheesy pick-up line.

A great razor.

This is just dumb.  Of course a handsome man like me has no problem approaching someone I find attractive.  And why would I have to use a cheesy pick-up line when I look like this?

But the reason I can do those two things is because my beard is what you see when you are dying.  They say you see a tunnel, but that's actually just my beard and the light at the end is the space between my mustache and my chin.  Don't believe me?  Think about it - if you reach the end of the tunnel it would be like giving me a kiss.  That's the definition of heaven right there. 

Things I should do:

Drink tequila in Mexico.

Sell something you've made to someone you don't know.

Walk a mighty distance.

I drank rum in Jamaica.  Does that count?  And I sold you on reading this blog.  Which means I've made it!

As for walking a might distance - I used to have to hoe 80 acre fields 5 rows at a time.  It's literally just walking through dirt and weeds for 12 hours in the heat.  It's one of those jobs that I can't accurately explain to city kids who complain about working at the Gap when they were teenagers.  I mean - all they had to do was sell something to people they didn't know.  That sounds easy. 

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