I would love to buck the trend of touchy-feely posts - but I need some emotional support here, Reader.
Football is over.
I feel so used. We had those beautiful few months together and now - nothing. We weren't one of those couples that were together all the time. We would get together Monday nights, then spend most of the weekends together. About halfway through the year we added a Thursday night rendez-vous to the schedule. Sometimes, when I felt
romantic, I would get up bright and early on Sunday mornings and drive down to the Muni Lot to make sure I was nice and drunk before football came on. I am a giver, Readers, a giver.
Anyways, football and I had our problems. My beloved Dolphins were 1-15 this year - and the Patriots, football's version of Nickleback, were 16-0. But even with all of our problems, it was pure, and it was beautiful. What we lacked in victories we more than made up for in Miller Lite and passion.
But now football is over. Oh sure - next weekend it'll call me up for some pity sex called the Super Bowl - but it's over and I know it. So what now? Where do I go from here? Basketball? C'mon - if I have too much whiskey I might watch a few Cavs games but I'm not going to take 'em home to Momma. Baseball is still a few months away - and I'm getting all ancy in my pantsy (did I just use that phrase AGAIN?). But what is going to feed the need until that beautiful March 31st opener?
Here are my Top 5 Things To Fill The Giant Void Football Left In My Life Until Baseball Season Starts Or Possibly The Cavs Make The Playoffs Again
1. Grow a beard - because chicks dig beards...right? Right?
2. Go to 1,000 concerts - because when you miss being at the bar with sweaty meat heads the next best thing is scrawny emo kids.
3. Save a box of kittens from a burning house - kidding - I do that during football season too.
4. Bring sexy back - and hopefully receive store credit since I don't have the receipt. (That joke was funny when the song was still popular, I swear.)
5. Go outside.
4 comments:
Not gonna lie... if done right, I tots dig beards. Please see previous Ryan Reynolds post. Ha.
Store credit?
Niiiice.
That huge void is open for too long. You can start flirting with baseball all over again on Feb. 15th. Besides, I'm sure you can kill two weeks trying to phigure out what those Phenominal 'Phins are gonna do with that Phirst Pick.
Momo - I had a good thing going but trimmed her down to the "business beard". I had a full beard for St Patty's day last year and might make it a tradition.
HCG - Thanks - I was hoping one of these days I would make a worthwhile joke.
BloggingJason - it's not even my birthday and you gave me the gift of alliteration!
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