Thursday, February 4, 2010

Avatard

I went and saw Avatar this past weekend - or as it should be called, "Alien Pocahontas". But I could hardly concentrate, and not just because I was strangely aroused by the blue alien girl.

No, there was a guy sitting next to me who had to comment on every scene.

"Oh, there is NO WAY that would happen! That is so unrealistic!"

Hey.

Buddy.

You are watching a movie about humans traveling to a far off planet and creating some cloned alien body they control with virtual reality and then they go live with an alien colony and do the sex.

After ALL that - the fact that he just jumped out of a TREE is the part that you find unbelievable?

Because the part I find unbelievable is that I didn't murder your face dead with the back end of my 3-D glasses.

Pandora, my ass - you're fucking with Narmnia now.

23 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

Just curious...but were you like me and actually looking for blue alien CGI girl nipple?

Please tell me it wasn't just me.

It was, wasn't it?

I think I need therapy.

Andrea said...

Theaters should screen for movie commentators before they let them in. "Do you frequently feel the need to voice your thoughts out loud? Please do not enter."

Anonymous said...

your are too much fun! i just stumbled on your blog the other day and must have mentioned it to a dozen people so far....very funny!! Keep blogging....don't stop.....don't stop!

Gofahne said...

Why did I not think of murder by 3D glasses when I wanted to CUT people around me for the same thing? Next time. It's a MOVIE aceholes. I go there to escape reality. Learn it.

Jez said...

So what was your friend's name again? The one making all the comments?

Andhari said...

Holy shiznit I'm glad I'm not the only one aroused by those blue alien sex scene.

Don't mess with me while watching Avatar too. HOTTTTT!

blamemyrobot said...

You have patience cuz I would have said something. Can't stand ppl talking thru movies... Grrrr.. now I'm all riled up!

Laurie said...

I once had season tickets to a local hockey team and was placed right beside (I mean hip to knee beside) the biggest dumb ass I've ever encountered. Not only was the team on an atrocious losing streak that year, but the reject beside me would stand up for a solid five minutes after every goal was scored, stomping his foot as hard as he could the entire time. Not even exaggerating. He had an extra chromosome or something and should not have been allowed to leave his house without some kind of adult supervision.

At least your moron was just for the length of Avatar.

tishtasha said...

When I consider murder in the movie theater, my weapon of choice is always popcorn butter. Fatal and fattening? Pure evil.

shine said...

So basically now I don't just have to avoid my friends who are obnoxious in movies, I have to interview the people around me before I choose a seat, too?

Fuck me, I'm staying home.

Smash said...

Moooooog35 - First comment my boyfriend and I made after the movie once we were safely in the car so no one could hear us and think we were strange was "you could totally see nipples on all the blue chicks!"

Julie said...

i looked at my watch like 8957348957349 times..."alien pocahontas" fo.sho. you crack me up!

MelissaOK said...

Ha! This made me think of a similiar thing we used to do with my old roommate. Only it was a dryer sheet... Strange, I know.

MelissaOK said...

Ooops, that comment was meant for your previous post

Allison M. said...

hahahahah you crack me up. Narmia!

Buck said...

Don't worry.
I'm gay, and I found myself wanting to nail Sigourney Weaver.
Now THAT'S messed up!

That Kind of Girl said...

So I can't totally mock the dude who buys into alien shit but can't suspend his disbelief for the jump from the tree, if only because every time I watch "Honey I Shrunk The Kids" I end up screaming at my TV: "Grass is fibrous! They can't slide down it! It would RIP THEM TO SHREDS!"

Marie said...

You should've punched him AND taken a picture of punching him.

Toe said...

They have the sex? Blue alien sex? Now I have to see this movie.

GregoryJ said...

Anyone living in Cleveland deserves happiness, not that I have anything against Cleveland. I've even been there a couple times.
Come to my blog and get your happy.
living my life, whatever

Troubled Teen said...

LOOK ITS KINDA STRANGE THAT YOU WERE AROUSED BY THE ALIEN GIRL. THAT IS KINDA PERVERTED!

iyou said...

Nice blog. Thank you for information!

Amanda West said...

Haha! Don't ya just love theaters?