I have set a world record.
Every morning I sit at my desk and think to myself, "DAMN how much longer until I get to eat lunch." Then I get up and look at my packed lunch to see if there is any way I can just get a nibble - like a lion picking off a baby wildebeest as an appetizer.
This used to happen around 11.
It continued to move up until I was famished at 10:15.
It is 9:22 and I am starving. That cold meat sub sitting on my book shelf is about to be chewed into submission before taking a pummeling from my stomach. I won't even tell you where it goes from there (poop).
I am fairly certain I am a fat kid trapped in a skinny-kids body. Which can't be very comfortable for the fat kid. I imagine it feels a lot like wearing whitey-tighties - you need a shoe horn to get everything crammed in there.
So now I am left to scour the office for leftover niblets of breakfasts' past.
Maybe I can scrap the wrapper of a muffin.
Or steal the last few bites of an apple core.
Say, are you going to eat the rest of that wildebeest?