Once you get past the oodles of Cool Runnings jokes, the Winter Olympics...well...kind of suck.
Curling is sweet - but I have no idea how to keep score. I feel like a 15 yr old the first time he sees a naked girl. Do I...do I touch them?
And hockey is, of course, awesome - but we already have hockey. You can't make me wait four years for something that I pretty much ignore every year already. That's what politics are for.
All the other events are people turning themselves into human missiles and then getting on ice. That is a good idea. They need to just call these events the "Downhill 400 meter Death Wish". I'm not impressed with your stupidity! Where is your mother? Did she sign you up for ski lessons because child services should have a conversation with her.
But, then it happened. I was watching some stupid cross-country skiing event thinking about how running is boring enough, now you strapped skis to these guys' feet to make them look even dumber and then BAM.
They picked up a fucking rifle and went to town on some targets.
Skiing and shooting? That is an event? You RACE and then stop to shoot a gun?
Did I miss something? This has to be an American sport. NASCAR totally needs to adopt this.
And who in their right mind would hand a long-distance athlete a gun? I can't run a half-mile without wanting to kill myself and everyone around me. These guys are going like 18 miles.
Man, if they use this for the sequel, Cool Runnings 2 is going to RULE.