Listen, I have the love for Sandra Bullock. Who doesn't? She seems like a real human being, is funny, humble, kind and looks like this -
Luckily for her this is America, so with legs like that she probably doesn't have to pay taxes or stop at toll booths. My only complaint would be that even though she is gorgeous, she kinda looks like Ashton Kutcher with longer hair. But I'll let it slide.
But even with parts of me having it hard (TWSS!) for Sandra, I don't really feel that bad for her in this whole "my husband had sex with a slutty, tattooed white supremacist" thing.
You see, she is a fucking idiot.
And I know some of you are outraged right now. You are saying, "But Narm, how can you say these evil things about our beloved Sandra!"
How can I say these things? How about the fact that she chose to be the third wife to a man who was once married to a porn star. Who used to party with Danzig and Slayer. Who stole cars as a teenager. Who slicks his hair back like some hilarious 90's bad boy stereotype. WHO WAS IN A COMMERCIAL WITH WHOOPI GOLDBERG!
When you heard Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock, was there any question it was going to be some raunchy girl with fake boobs? Were you surprised? About as surprised as when that KILLER whale KILLED that woman?
And this isn't new. Girls are notorious for this. If girls shopped for cars like they chase men, Toyota would be booming. "There's a chance the accelerator will stick and I'll go down in a ball of flames? Where do I sign?"
Yes, the 'bad boy'. Because normal guys are 'boring', Girls need some 'spice' in their life. And then, when the 'bad boy' cheats on her with a 'bad girl' because he got 'bored' with 'normal' and needed some 'spice' - we are all supposed to feel so bad for the girl and attack the guy for doing exactly what we all knew he was going to do in the first place.
Besides, she'll get back on her feet, and maybe we can introduce her to some nice boys down at the state penitentiary.