Monday, March 15, 2010

Streak of Awesome

I woke up today and, yet again, was completely awesome.

That continues my impressive streak of being awesome to - my entire life.

Seriously - this has to be some kind of record. I have been alive 9,755 days and on each one - awesomeness.

Joe DiMaggio had a hit in 56 straight baseball games. That is damn impressive, and hasn't been touched since. Of course, that is 9,699 days shorter than my awesome streak of awesomeness. Joe DiMaggio also married Marilyn Monroe, so I guess he still came out ahead.

Meet The Press has been on air for over 60 years, but with only one episode a week, their 4,843 episodes is a skip in the park for this endurance awesomer.

Yes. I am the Lance Armstrong of awesome - but instead of steroids I'm jacked up on Barbasol and Fun Dip.

Sure, there are days that are close to ending the streak. But every game can't be a blowout. Sometimes you are keeled over in a Panera bathroom throwing up last night's bad decisions in a trash can while the guy in the stall nervously asks, "Are you alright?"

But true champions fight through the pain, and still make the 3 hour drive to their nephew's 6th birthday party.

Why? Because awesome has no hangover. Awesome takes no days off. Awesome looks straight in the face of adversary and says - "Not today, evil foe. Today, I am going to storm the beaches of the ordinary, grow a beard of freedom and sing from the mountaintops, 'Fuck your case of the Mondays!'"

Because when you bathe in awesome, every day feels like Saturday night, even when your body feels like Sunday morning.


lacochran said...


...but you knew that.

Mary said... dip.

lbluca77 said...

So what you are trying to tell us is that you are awesome?

Just wanted to make sure I got it right

Valsburger said...

Haha... I just found you the other day... I must say, I also find you to be pretty awesome!

The EGE said...

That was exactly what my monday needed! I have not laughed that hard in quite a while.

Fizzgig said...

awesome is a really fantastic way to live! I wish the whole world would live in awesome! spread the word!

LiLu said...

Your mom is awesome.

Oh... wait.

Jez said...

That is nice. But not quite as nice as my 15,108 days of Awesomeness.

Keep it up, though, you'll never sell yourself short with that kind of attitude.

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Ed said...

Nice, but my Awesomeness started in Utero and I'm now 35.

So basically, I was Awesome before birth, because not only was I the fastest swimmer in a race of 2 million, but I hung out for 9 months inside a lady which equals WIN!

Moooooog35 said...

Tell me about it.

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