I woke up today and, yet again, was completely awesome.
That continues my impressive streak of being awesome to - my entire life.
Seriously - this has to be some kind of record. I have been alive 9,755 days and on each one - awesomeness.
Joe DiMaggio had a hit in 56 straight baseball games. That is damn impressive, and hasn't been touched since. Of course, that is 9,699 days shorter than my awesome streak of awesomeness. Joe DiMaggio also married Marilyn Monroe, so I guess he still came out ahead.
Meet The Press has been on air for over 60 years, but with only one episode a week, their 4,843 episodes is a skip in the park for this endurance awesomer.
Yes. I am the Lance Armstrong of awesome - but instead of steroids I'm jacked up on Barbasol and Fun Dip.
Sure, there are days that are close to ending the streak. But every game can't be a blowout. Sometimes you are keeled over in a Panera bathroom throwing up last night's bad decisions in a trash can while the guy in the stall nervously asks, "Are you alright?"
But true champions fight through the pain, and still make the 3 hour drive to their nephew's 6th birthday party.
Why? Because awesome has no hangover. Awesome takes no days off. Awesome looks straight in the face of adversary and says - "Not today, evil foe. Today, I am going to storm the beaches of the ordinary, grow a beard of freedom and sing from the mountaintops, 'Fuck your case of the Mondays!'"
Because when you bathe in awesome, every day feels like Saturday night, even when your body feels like Sunday morning.