Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Squid Pro Quo

The roommate and I finally bit the $5 bullet and got DVR this week. I had DVR in college and recorded everything I possibly could. Like Madonna trying to figure out which baby she wants to steal every time she leaves the country, I would have to do some crazy eenie, meanie, miney mo thing to decide which episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force was getting the axe when that thing got full.

So with a week gone by what is recorded on my DVR?

Four shows about giant squids.

Thats it.

Four of em.

I have seen more shows about Giant Squid than I have Rocky movies. Which means even my DVR knows I'm a nerd.

It gets thrown into an apartment of two mid-twenties bachelors and is thinking, "Sweet - a life of porn and sports - I hit the jackpot!" (In this story my DVR is a guy).

But no.

Four shows about giant squids. And colossal squids. Which are like giant squids. But different.

You would know that if you DVR'd four shows about giant squids.

What if my DVR was like Tivo and recorded shows it thought you would like. Where the hell do you go from shows about giant squids?

"Let's see...my owner is a huge fucking dweeb - I'll record math shows and 7th Heaven."

Even my DVR won't be my friend.

It could at least try to be funny and record "L.A. Ink" and "Miami Ink" and "Inked". At least then I could say my DVR was witty. (Squid...ink...get it? I didn't say it was hilarious - but the thing is just wires and computer chips - you can't expect gold here.)

But instead it just sits there and suffers through shows about giant squids.

When I see my DVR pouting and feeling down I just remind him, it could be worse.

I could be recording Grey's Anatomy.

18 comments:

Deutlich said...

uhm.. G.A. is better than FOUR programs on Squids...

Just sayin

-A said...

I used to love Aqua Teen Hunger Force! And where are you finding all these shows about squids? Is it like that meerkat show they used to have?

surviving myself said...

Oh man, I'm sure this post was great but once I started thinking about Kat Von D I lost track of everything else.

ANG* said...

"inked" - i would say your DVR is pretty hilarious.

Marie said...

Or Gossip Girl. Just imagine it had recorded Gossip Girl.

the almost right word said...

Now if you were recording Grey's Anatomy, your DVR wouldn't be a guy, right? In which case, he/she (boy, this is confusing) would not pout or feel down.

And I'm with Deutlich -- GA is indeed far superior to FOUR squid programs.

So@24 said...

Dude. Have you seen Old Boy? And that scene where he eats the squid live?

...

I'm going to puke.

Lauren said...

Oh god, I agree with so@24. Old Boy = decent movie. Squid scene = worst moment of my life.

My DVR is confused, I think, because it DOES in fact record Grey's Anatomy, but also Venture Brothers, Wings and any vampire show ever. I have an eclectic collection of roommates.

Nilsa S. said...

You had me at giant squid. Next time, though, will you record 90210 for me, so I don't miss it when I'm off in sewing class?

JustinS said...

My DVR and your DVR should be BFFs. Mine somehow ended up with a show about this big ass crazy scary fish that's given me nightmares for days (alligator gar).

lacochran said...

At least with four squid shows you'll be well armed in the event of attack... Well tentacled?

I have regrets.

c.watson said...

Are giant squids evil? Because they seem like they would be, all big and stuff. Oh do they bring down ships? I've got so many questions, now I wish I had watched four squid shows.

Not really but if you could sum up the interesting points in a quick powerpoint presentation that would be peachy.

fiona said...

Concerned that Lacochran thinks you might be in danger of a squid attack! Is this a possibility? Now THAT would make for some great blogging...but only if you've paid real close attention to the four programs and know how to outsquid the squid!

LBluca77 said...

My Tivo records 24 straight hours of Beverly hills 90210 episodes.

moooooog35 said...

Giant Squid is Mucho Biggo Calamari in Spanish.

True story.

But you know that already...being the giant squid expert and all.

Heff said...

See your earlier post. The scariest thing on earf ? TED NUGENT - ARMED.

Heff said...

Geez, talk about stupid people - I just put that comment on the wrong post. FUCK !

janekeig@tepapa said...

Improve your squid geekiness when Te Papa museum in NZ puts its colossal squid on display on 13 December with an awesome online exhibition! Join the countdown at www.tepapa.govt.nz/squid or go behind the scenes http://blog.tepapa.govt.nz/.